Is Facebook ruining our real social network?

There are the nights when a group of mates get together around some sort of semblance of a table and a vaguely civilized conversation begins. Fuelled by whatever alcoholic beverage is affordable at the time- it escalates into a heated discussion. Your mum upon over-hearing might think it's an argument and the trainee Barristers chomping at the bit to show their skills will call it 'healthy debate'.

One such occasion occurred for a group of typical Dublin twenty somethings on Wednesday night.

The subject of the hour;

Point #1: It's becoming intrusive.

"I'm thinking about deleting my facebook, it's just starting to freak me out how much people know about me. Where I am, who I'm with, what I'm wearing, It's starting to get scary."

So, who controls what people see about you? You do. Tagging you can only happen if you allow it, that includes places, people and photos. Read up on your privacy and try not to get angry about a free service that you use for up to FOUR HOURS A DAY. So what is the issue here?

If we look at the evolution of entertainment, our interests lie a million miles away from those of the previous generation. The highest grossing tv programmes in the last year were reality based, and why wouldn't they be? We are obsessed with reality. The word has now lost its original meaning. Every day it is associated with beautiful rich people with more money than sense or regular joe soaps, hoping to be discovered. We have responded to this alteration in entertainment by making our own reality. We create a world for ourselves that we project to people in the hopes that they will be enamoured with our choice of music and our flattering photographs.

So, is our privacy is being violated or is it that we are finding it difficult to say no to a new way of life, one where the once outrageous reality tv show that was Big Brother has now become our lives, facebook has become our daily dose of tabloid sensation and far be it from us to bite the hand that feeds us.

Point #2: It's changing how we look at potential courtships

"Before facebook, we'd go out and meet someone and like them based on what we saw that night, now it's all about who our mutual friends are, ex girlfriends/boyfriends and how they look in their photos. It shouldn't be like that, It's changing the mating game."

Is it? Prior to facebook, meeting someone would inevitably result in an illusive enquiry. Have your friends heard of them? Where were they from? This inquisition dates back to long before our generation. What do his parents do? All the way back to 'From which farm does he hail?'

Facebook hasn't changed our basic need to know the background of potential mates; it has just made it more thorough but it's entirely possible we are learning a little more than we need to know. The fact that he/she has liked 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians', doesn't have to be a deal breaker and shouldn't change your opinion of them. Without Facebook, you might have gone out with this person for 5 years without knowing a detail such as this. They did choose to volunteer this shameful information, so what does that say? Essentially, everything someone offers up on facebook is leaving them open to criticism of the masses. Is the confidence of displaying these personal preferences endearing, or is it just self-defeating?

Point #3: It's creating a distance between friends

"I just think that it's ruining relationships everywhere. I mean, if we didn't have our group thread, I'd be forced to pick up the phone and call you guys, but the fact that we all chat most days online, means talking on the phone has become more and more infrequent"

Mmm well actually, think about what was just said. 'The fact that we talk most days online' Did we all speak most days before facebook? No. So hasn't it made us closer? Debatable. In essence you are broadcasting a message. Granted, in this case it's not as general as a status update but it is to 11 people (or however many there are in your group) so the intimacy of a one on one conversation has been diluted substantially. However, can the same be said for women in the 1950's who were opposed the whole idea of the newly available telephone. To them, it took away the daily coffee with a neighbour, all that needed to be done for a catch up was picking up Bells invention. Well now, hold the phone(pun intended); Alexander Graham Bell didn't specify when he invented the telephone that people were simply not allowed to call in for a hot drop, just as Mark Zuckerberg did not make it obligatory to use facebook as the only way of keeping in touch with your friends.

Bottom line? We are faced with a freedom, on a daily basis, in every social media and beyond, and whether we choose to use it is up to us entirely.