Sporting Scarecuts
With the retirement of good old Goldenballs last summer, we were worried there would be a lull in the amount of disgraceful barnets that fill the leagues of the World. So we scoured the past and present to bring you the worst hair cuts, scare cuts and general out there cuts that have ever existed on the sports field.
Warning - What is about to be seen cannot be unseen!
1. David Beckham - Take your pick.
He is the quintessential professional and husband (Loos-gate aside), however some of his cuts down the years have been nothing short of amazingly ridiculously ridiculous.... We know on occasion you've copied him. Rest assured though, we won't tell anyone.
2. Benoit Assou-Ekotto - The Afro Skunk
Is it a bird?, Is it a plane? No it's afro-skunk.
3. Fui Vakapuna - The WTF%$£?
We're 100% sure American footballer Vakapuna has played for the Bengals, the Cardinals, the Colts and the New York Jets over the course of his career. What we're not sure of, is what the f**k is on the back of his head?
4. Tony Allens - The RAWRRRRR..
RAWRRRR.......
5. Djibril Cisse - Le Coiffures Ridicule
Any hairstyle he has ever sported deserves to be on this list. He deserves his own list actually......but for now here's an absolute peach.
6. Neymar - The ....(we settled on) Hedgehog
Hair-mar was always going to end up on this. What is this? A mullet? An unstyled mohawk? Cousin IT post shearing? A hedgehog?
7. Patrick Kane - The Aerodynamic Mullet
The go faster stripes mean Chicago Blackhawke's Kane can negotiate the ice with extreme precision.....
8. Bryce Harper- Bang Bang
The quiff is very much in vogue now, but similar hairstyles to Harper's bangs have been gracing the catwalks of fashions capitals recently as the gurus move to a new style for a new season. Just don't say we didn't warn you when you're admiring yourself in the mirror this summer.......
9. Kevin Grosskreutz - Das Haircut
Dortmund won the Bundesliga. His team mates shaved his head. Grosskreutz laughed. We laughed. Grosskreutz has a Bundeliga winners medal. We don't. We still laughed.
10. Carlos Boozer - Hair in a can.
We like our booze in cans. Boozer like his hair in cans. There's some form of a maths equation involved in this whereby we end up with booze in our hair... B=MC haired
11. Tom Brady - The Beiber Brady Super Bowl
Why one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever grace the American Football field would want to channel his inner Justin Beiber is beyond us.
12.Tiger Woods - The Leopard Spots
We used to undertake Eminem themed experiments during summer holidays in school with a little known product called the Wella streaking kit. The results were far superior to this. You did this yourself Tiger. Didn't you!
13. Carlos Valderama - The Perm
Permalicious...
14. Dennis Rodman - The Walking Scarecut
Much like the aforementioned Mr. Cisse, Rodman has pretty much been a walking scarecut for most of his career. But who are we to judge, Kim Jong Un thinks he's cool....
15. Rene Higuita - The Rick James
I'm Rick James bitch....
16. Jason Lee - He's got a pineapple on his head
While at Nott's Forest the tabloids had Lee hounded while they ripped the piss out of the 'pineapple on his head'. Mmmmm pineapple....
17. David James - The Scrapbook
Quite the scrapbook the former England number 1 has built up..
18. Alexi Lalas - The Ginger Goat
What does the fox goat say?
19. Andre Agassi - The Wig
Agassi has admitted that it was a wig. And what a wig it was....
20. Gavin Henson - The Pink Pineapple Flower
Henson actually got away with this back in the day. He got away with a lot while he had Charlotte Church on his arm ...Well he doesn't anymore, so we're calling him on it...
......and this is a pink pineapple flower.
21. Stephan El Shaarawy - The Spear
It kind of looks like something you'd find atop a spear in Game of Thrones.
22. Tim Tebow - The Friar Tuck
Footballs most famous virgin will long remain that way if he keeps this kind of sh*t up!
