16 Things You'll Find In A Typical Student Kitchen

For some reason a college students kitchen is a lot different to the one you have at home. You realise tea bags and milk don't magically replenish themselves. You mean salt and pepper don't just come with a house? You're now shopping for yourself and all of a sudden you need to figure out whats important, whats good value and is that crate of Bavaria more important then your dippy eggs and soldiers in the morning. You're shopping for one person so you can't just buy in bulk and you realise 3 for 2 offers are your enemy. From my experience there is a general consensus of what you find in the kitchen of a poor, hungover, over-tired college student. Thank god for that fast metabolism!

Cheese

Cheese is just the most delicious thing in the world. It's like a little taste of heaven. However cheese is not cheap and therefore it is like gold dust. Any time you go to take a few slices of that beautiful mature cheddar, the block slowly gets smaller and smaller before you've even taken the grater out of the cupboard. Those animals.

Sweet Chilli Sauce.

It doesn't matter what you're cooking, sweet chilli sauce goes with everything. Pasta, sandwhiches, chips, chicken. If it's raw, burned, gone off. Sweet chilli sauce will save it.

Pasta

Pasta for every single meal is perfectly normal as a student. After a time, you even have your favourite type. When I'm feeling giddy I like to splurge and by bow-tie.

Pasta Sauce

What goes well with pasta? Tomatoe and Basil pasta sauce of course! Aldi have a wide range of 60 cent sauces. If you're trying to watch your diet you can get sauce with mushroom or if you're feeling a bit wild why not some spicy pepper?

It won't look like this...

Fajita Kits

Fajita kits everywhere, except that you're too stingy to buy chicken fillets so you just use the wraps when you run out of bread, and Tom tried to eat the salsa when he was drunk. Anyone who offers to cook dinner, it's going to be fajitas.

Beans and Spaghetti

If a nuclear war does ever come into fruition you are sorted with tinned goods.

Noodles

20 cent noodles. Its not a question of how many do you need but how many can you carry.

Oranges

You had good intentions that one time and now they're into their second phase of mould.

The Phantom Onion

You don't know where it came from, you don't know how it got into the vegetable drawer of your fridge but it did and yet no one thinks of throwing it out.

Mooju

This is generally in the fridge on a Friday morning after a night on the beer. Who would think that some chocolatey milkey goodness could cure what ails you but it does. It really really does. All hail Mooju.

Frozen Chicken Dippers

You can put them in anything, they're great. They are what holds a meal together. Half Two in the morning though, leave the oven alone, you are not in a position to operate heavy machinery.

Left Over Pizza

No one would order takeaway with you so you couldn't get your meal over a tenner for free delivery. You do what any sane person does and buy a second pizza so you can have some saintly pepperoni for the morning to.

Rustlers Burgers

A college students life saver. Its a pre made burger, bun and all that you pop into the microwave for a minute and voila! Dinner is served!

Cereal

You will never see as much cereal as in a student's house. For some it will be choco pops, for the rich it will be the original great tasting flavour of coco pops. Sadly though, no one ever thinks of buying milk and if they do, it's more then likely left out all day.

Microwaveable Meals

These guys... They can afford to buy three euro dinners 5 nights a week. Well you know what, I hear they're really bad for you so good luck with that, plugged up arteries. I'll happily sit here and tuck into my snack-a-noodle, dipping my stale wrap with chilli sauce. Yum.

Mammy Meals.

These are just the worst. Sunday evening they prance into the house on their little high horse with about 10 lunch boxes filled with lasagna's, shepards pie and curry. These pretenders who believe they're living the student life but they're just big fat phoneys! What's worse is they then take up all the freezer space with you having no place to put your prison food.

And then they have the audacity, no the gumption to ask would anyone like to get some takeaway with their expendable cash. Go fuck yourself!