How To Tell If He's A Basic Bro
There are a few ways to identify a Basic Bro. Just to be clear, a Basic Bro is someone who doesn't go anywhere without his posse, always has his hands down his pants in public, is barely ever seen not rolling tobacco and says "how are the boys," without a hint of irony. They never talk to you if they're around their friends because they'd get slagged if they did. Be prepared to always come second to "the lads" if you're with a absolute Basic Bro. If you're unsure of whether someone you know is a Basic Bro or not, look out for these little hints...
1. "I know I told you I'd take you out tonight, but the guys are going for a couple of beers so I'll probably just go with them instead."
2. "That's what she said."
3. Any sex-related joke is related back to one of the boys mothers.
4. "Can I steal a skin off you there man?"
5. "Any filters?"
6. "Any rollies?"
7. "I dunno if I'm going, I'll see what the guys say."
8. "If it isn't the guuuuuuyyyss."
9. "What's goin on buddy?"
10. "I can't find my hair gel, I'm not goin out."
11. "Stop messing around man."
12. "Are the guys going?"
13. "Drinkin', smokin', fightin'"
14. "I'd do her."
15. "We go buy our 70 cls for tonight guys?"
16. "Pay into the club?? Will we just drink here instead?"
17. "That's fucked."
18. "That's sick, man."
19. "Going for a few beers with the guys, don't wait up."
... And Finally, Three Bonus Basic Bro signs:
- A Basic Bro will never notice if you wear something new, just make fun of you if you wear anything even MILDLY experimental, say something with feathers- Big Bird is now your new nickname... Ya get me? Imagination is LIM.IT.ED.
- You may keep dreaming if you think a Basic Bro will ever give you an 'x' at the end of a message or verbalise his feelings about you. The best you can hope for is a grudging 'You're good'.
- Another signal of Basic Bro-ishness is roughhousing. Play fights, scraps, taking the TV remote and making a sudden and irritatingly impossible game to get it back- all that shit is pure basic bro.
Video: How to Tell If You're a Basic Bro
Credit: Collegehumor