The 25 People You Will Meet At The Trinity Ball

It is that time of year again. For girls it is a time to panic about what you are going to wear. For guys it is how you are going to get absoultely f*cked. Girls think about that too but getting ready is a big part of it. The morning is spent collecting your tickets from Trinity and 5pm onwards is dedicated to the biggest pre drinks of your life to date. Throw out that shoulder or naggin you usually drink and take out the flaggin and do not leave until it is empty. It is your night to shine or your night spent in the A&E tent so be careful. Choose acts wisely and if like me you don't know any that are playing just follow the crowd but don't pretend you know them...that is the worst.

1) The Trinity Wanker

"Do you even go to Trinity?" "Oh, how did you get a ticket?" "I didn't realize people outside Trinity could come to this?." These kind of things said are from a classic Trinity wanker. They think they are the dogs you know what because they go to college here. Not all Trinity students are like this just the odd 5%.

2) The Chameleon

You don't know how and you don't know when but this ticketless being has just snuck in. His or her friends cheer them, high fives here and there and he has a cheeky grin that would put the smiling dog to shame.

3) The VIP

They have a press pass and they are not afraid to use it. They know someone in MCD and they will be backstage a lot. Everyone will know they are VIP because they have told you 25 times.

4) The Fake VIP

"Hey..sorry...excuse me...yeah hi...I work in MCD and I can't find my pass...I swear I had it someone stole it...can I come in?" Ehhh noooooo.

5) The A&E

Unfortunately, this student has had the one too many. They are in A&E and their friend has a face like a slapped arse and they don't know how to get out of it. The friend is so pissed off and The A&E is going nowhere even if they are insisting they are fine.

6) The Drug Lord

"Oh God I must be on my 5th pill already" is a regular saying. They may be selling too but nobody knows much about The Drug Lord. They are a mysterious being.

7) The After Party

Even though it is only 11.45pm and you got here 20 minutes ago there is always one person in the group who is very confused. For some reason they feel like they have been there for hours and all they want is an after party and are saying it on repeat.

8) The Drunken Disorderly

Everyone will be drunk but there is always one that is drunk too much too early. Generally seen falling, dr00ling and trying to score the security guard.

9) The Gullible Soul

"Did you hear Daft Punk are playing?." "I swear to God that man over there just told me Jennifer Aniston is here for this!" Don't believe everything you hear the acts list is in your pocket for Christ's sake.

10) The Emotional Hipster

Do not judge - this Hipster has been waiting to see Banana Fruit Loop Apparatus since they were born. Let them cry and be happy their dreams have come true.

11) The Fake Hipster

They are all about being unique. They love all these new indie acts that are playing. They can name them but deep down they don't have a clue really. Found wearing a fedora, braces, dark lipstick and carrying a cane. Yes, you heard me, a cane.

12) The Trampled One

Someone has gotten trampled on in the crowd and everyhione knows about it. They are in the A&E and they were trampled to f*ck. They will come out alive - nothing to see here.

13) The Outfit Malfunction

You may find various of these around the place. A guys suit is ripped to shreds and a girl's dress have a massive hole in the middle. These things can happen to the best of us.

14) The Lonely Shoe

They have lost a shoe and they don't really give a sh*t. They will walk around one foot free and have a just as good night.

15) The Shirtless Guy

He is loving life, loving Trinity Ball and taking his shirt off to show that. He can't feel the cold and he is truly invincible.

16) The Sweaty People

They are dripping with sweat and they just don't care. Hot sweats? Cold sweats? Who knows? I think they are still enjoying it.

17) The Cryer

They are emotional, they are crying and they aren't going to stop. Once you start at these kind of things there is no going back. Good luck to ya.

18) The Couple Fighting

There will be a couple having a horrendous row over feck all. Or else, everything that has been annoying them over the last few months is going to explode here and now. Avoid these couples with caution.

19) The Hallucinogenic

He is seeing The Great Barrier Reef, that clown and that men stroking a cat. He is either loving it or loathing it. They only know really.

20) The Jaw Grinder

We all know what is going on here but no one will acknowledge it. They are having a good time but it can be irritating to look at.

21)  The Trouble Maker

After 10 minutes of entering the security have already know him by name and they are on their last warning. They can't be trusted.

22) The No-Entry

They may have a real ticket and they paid way in advance but they aren't getting in. Nothing is explained they just have to "step aside".

23) The English

They have come across the pond to Trinity to explore the Irish isle. They will all attend the Trinity ball as a pack. They will have had a fancy pre drinks and be jolly as f*ck. All the ladies will swoon.

24) The Sober One

They are so pissed off that they are The Sober One and the more they drink nothing is happening. They are frustrated, angry and most likely going to go home early.

25) The Sleeping Beauty

They are well and truly gone and there is no waking them. They will find an area to sleep and use their shoe as a pillow.