The Definitive Guide To Scoring A Celeb
Now, I am no expert and I am not saying that I am Ryan Gosling's ex, but over the years I have come to gather some information from various people about how they have gotten with a famous celebrity. There are rules that must be followed and you must stay calm. I have no shame in admitting that I have been known to freak out in the presence of a celebrity. From crying from start to finish at the Justin Bieber concert (should I really be telling you this?) to basically fainting when I was sitting at a table next to the Kardashians, Scott Disick and Kanye West, so this advice is for me too. Here we have it, the rules and regulations; The Definitive Guide To Scoring A Celeb.
1) Twitter
Obviously follow your sought out celebrity on Twitter. Make sure they have a blue tick beside their name and it is their legitimate account. You don't want a fellow crazy stalker on your hands. If there ever is any reach to contact them take it. When they ask questions, answer. Then if they retweet or favorite one of your tweets, ask them to follow you. You never know they may follow back and that will be your first moment of contact.
WARNING: Don't go for someone like Kanye West who follows one person, his soon to be wife, Kim Kardashian. There is no chance there.
2) Know Their Location
If they are coming to your hometown know where they are and when exactly they will be here. Keep track of them through Twitter and if they are going on The Late Late Show or The Saturday Night Show make sure you get tickets before hand. A wink from the audience could be all it takes. If this fails make sure you find out where they are heading that night and try and get there and meet them.
WARNING: Play it cool in the audience - a panicked/hysterical fan is all it takes to make them run a mile away from you.
3) V.I.P
Find out where they are going that night and make sure you get V.I.P. News will soon spread where the celebrity is going and guestlist will fill up so be on the ball.Talk to every promoter you know and get it fast. Don't make it out that you are this crazy super fan as the club owner or promoter won't want you near them if they realize what you are up to.
WARNING: Get dressed up but not too dressed up. A debs dress or a full blown tux is not necessary. Act cool, okay?
4) Introductions Are Golden
Make sure when you introduce yourself that you are charismatic and outgoing. First impressions will stick so make it a good one. Introduce yourself to everyone they are with and talk to everyone as a group. Don't give the celeb all your attention.
WARNING: A kiss on the lips is not appropriate. Keep it classy.
5) No Freak Out's
If you have the opportunity to meet them be confident and don't freak out. Anytime I have met legit famous people I've panicked and fell off my seat. Just pretend for those mere three hours that they are a normal human being and enter their area calmly if they ask you to. Or, walk into it like you should be there. No fear and no tears people.
WARNING: There is a fine line between being obnoxious and being confident, so, keep it cool and collected.
6) Play Hard To Get
Look, I am well aware you have been "waiting your whole life for this", your words not mine. And, we know you're not hard to get and let's face it he knows he can have whoever he wants so surprise him. Seeming disinterested and chatting to his friends and co-workers could stand you out from the crowd. Put it this way, there will be many guys or girls there so you can either be all over him to the point that he can't get away or you can play it cool and hopefully he will pick up on it. Since, both scenarios show an option of being thrown out it is your choice entirely. Although if I was you I would play it cool.
WARNING: Saying you are their biggest fan will turn them off. But, don't pretend you don't know them either. Once you are drunk you will say something about that film they were in or what song they just did.
7) Do Something For Them
Celebrities are used to being asked for everything and they know well that a lot people just sit with them for the free drink. So, instead offer them something you can do for them. Perhaps, a tour of the city, a drink from the bar or something as simple as directions. Let them know you are not just there to take advantage of their money and fame.
WARNING: Even, if you are there for all of that stuff, pretend you aren't.
8) Get On With Their Friends
I'm not saying those famous folk don't make their own decisions but if they are in anyway unsure about you they will ask their friends what they think. So, be nice to their friends and management around them. Make an effort with everyone at the table. Be the life and soul of the party. Then they will have no excuse will they?
WARNING: Don't flirt too much with the people at their table. You might end up shifting one of them by mistake and you will regret that I am sure.
9) Don't Get Sloppy
Have a good time, after all, you have been waiting for this night for a very long time. But keep your wits about you and don't get too pissed. The moment you get sloppy and knock over a table of drinks, is the moment you are escorted out of their area.
WARNING: Nobody likes a mess and everyone hates the person who knocks over their drinks.
10) Don't Ask Them For Everything
Don't ask for concert tickets, tickets to their comedy show or free merchandise. This will look bad and immediately set off a trigger in their brain. And, the trigger is saying this guy or girl is a user and they will do what they can to get what they want.
WARNING: I know it is tempting and I know you want the stuff but they will throw you out and those friends you've been ignoring for the last 2 hours won't help you to get back in. Your night will be ruined.
11) Talk Yourself Up
This is your time to shine. So, for just this once, do not put yourself down. Be confident and promote yourself. Instead of saying "yeah I'm in college doing Business", discuss your course briefly and tell them about your future plans. If you don't have any set plan, just throw one option out there. They will be impressed that you are not just like any other student - you believe in yourself. Celebrities love that crap.
WARNING: Don't go completely over the top. They will suss out that your grand mother twice removed wasn't the Queen and that you never actually used to go out with Colin Farrell (well, you never know).
12) Extras
If all else fails and you can't get into the nightclub or you did and they didn't notice you apply to be an extra on their next project. An extra in a movie or their music video could be your chance and time to shine. If this opportunity graces itself upon you grab it with both hands and act your socks off.
WARNING: If you act too starstruck on set they will take that role from you. Basically, play it cool.
13) Hotels
Check out the hotels you think they may be staying in. Celebrities have been known to stay in The Merrion, The Ritz and The Four Seasons. If you "happen" to be in any of these locations keep your eyes peeled.
WARNING: Don't let any workers in on why you are there. They may have their suspicions but if they have concrete proof that there are stalkers in the building they will exit through the back. No merchandised t-shirts allowed.
