The Emotional Life-Cycle Of Learning How To Drive
Passing your drivers test is not an easy thing to do. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 25 it's still as terrifying. Passing your drivers test is your last rite of passage as an adult and probably the most nerve-wreaking things you will ever do. Whether you fail it numerous times or pass on the first go these are probably some of the things that you will experience during the course of learning to drive.
1) The Paper Work
Think you could just hop in a car and drive? Oh no. First you must get through a forest of paper work that has very little to do with actually getting into a car. Forms, forms everywhere.
2) The Theory Test
What's a hard shoulder? What's the minimum tread depth of your tires? Getting 35 out of 40 suddenly becomes life or death.
3) The L Plates
The big red 'L' plate basically means "I'm really shit at this so place be nice to me on the road" but remember L is for learner not loser.
4) The Constant Lessons
It will become routine to regularly get into a car with a strange man/women and have them robotically state instructions at you.
5) The Money
€80 here, €50 there. learning how to drive costs some serious mullah.
6) The Angst of your Parents
Mum and dad want you to pass more then anything. Mainly because they're sick of paying for your constant attempts to be allowed on the road. Seize the opportunity to prank the shit out of them like this lad if you do pass.
7) Turning your 3 point turn into a 7 point turn
Probably the trickiest part of any driving test, once you can ace this part of the test you know you're going to pass. Until you master it though- you're not going anyway near a tight curb.
8) Hill Starts
The one part of learning to drive that feels like certain death if you fuck it up. Nerve wreaking doesn't even cover it.
9) Provisional licence -
Getting your provisional makes you feel like Vin Diesel in Tokyo Drift. Badass. Even if you have to drive with your mum in the passenger seat.
10) Awkward small talk
This is the most awkward part of learning how to drive. You'd rather do a hundred hill starts then have to go through the awkward conversations you have with you're driving instructor. Spending copious amounts of time in a small enclosed space just makes for awkward conversations.
11) The little rust bucket piece of shit that you're so proud of..
Your first little rust bucket is one of the best things you own. Even if your new Nissan Micra/ Ford fiesta etc looks like shit, smells like shit- It still means freedom.
When this:
Feels like this:
12) Sober nights out
Suddenly realising that having a car means you have to be the sober one in your friends group.
13) Finally passing- Probably one of the best feelings in the world.
Hello freedom. Goodbye L Plates.
14) And means you can officially do this..
Bus wankers.
