The Things We'd Like To Say To Women, But Never Do

This might get me into trouble but it's how I feel so like it or lump it.

1. If you think it's too short...it probably is.

2. Sometimes I haven't got a blind notion what the hell you are talking about.

3. You’re beautiful, that's why we're with you, but stop over thinking things.

YES...REALLY!!

4. You do know you can make the first move every once in a while.

5. Don't play too hard to get if you do actually like us, if there's no obvious signs we'll abandon ship.

6. Take control in the bedroom every once in a while too, we know you also have fantasies...

7. Do not take control when ordering us food...that's just the worst.

8. Be confident - looks matter, but not that much. No need to be so shallow or bitchy...its a turn off.

9. No, that does not make your bum look big. It is generally quite big anyway...but Beyonce has a big bum..so what's the big deal?!

10. Dear women, caked make up is not a good look...no matter what beauty professionals tell you, it looks like you are wearing a mask of clay, like that clay thing in the Fantastic 4. Sincerely, a professional man.

11. You don’t have to watch “the game” or drink beer till you belch, thank you for trying but if you're not actually into it, it's obvious.

12. No need to put a wall up. If you have one up at the start and it comes down then you become a different person than we fell for...get it?

13. We NEVER have an excuse to be grumpy...you do, that sucks.

14. We are not telling you about our past relationships...it's going to drive you mad and you know it.

15. Sometimes we need to hear the truth.

16. Sometimes we just plain hate your guts....and sometimes we love you, we know it works this way for you too, it doesn't mean we're bipolar.

17. Playing dumb doesn't ever work, we just accept that the current situation has been resolved and we move on.

18. We know that sometimes it isn't fair...

19. Life is not fair...

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