The Things You Want To Do After A Break Up, But Never Actually Do...

A few weeks after a break up you have such good intentions.You plan so many things that realistically you will never do. Here's some of the usual life changes you hope to achieve. Mostly to show your ex what he's missing and, that you hate his stinking guts.

You're going to get so fucking fit.Your going to have a 12 pack.The Paleo diet is your new lifestyle choice.No more sugar or dairy for you. You start crossfit,yoga, and piloxing without even knowing what the fuck it is.Yeah that will show him!

After your fitness frenzy it's time for the complete wardrobe change.Your plan is to get everything Cara Delevingne has ever worn. You try on nothing because you know soon, you will fit into everything. Thanks to your new workout regime.Even though you have done 30 sit ups and, you Still don't have a 6 pack.The end result you look like a homeless hipster.....for now.

Studying. All that precious studying time was wasted on him. A's thats the new aim.You will attend every lecture. Do all the reading.Sadly this usually just ends with you stalking him on Facebook and, Instagram And Twitter.End result: Shut up Jayne Eyre, you know nothing of my pain.

Getting all the Bitches.Oh yes, no more staying in for you.Its time to seduce some men with your new oversized ironic t shirt and potential 6 pack.You get drunk...too drunk.So drunk you have to be brought home.Where you text him and then cry, Lots.

The result of all your intentions?

Reality is cruel you hate paleo and exercise.You've wasted a large amount of money on shit you don't need. Your grades remain mediocre, however you did manage to get that guys number when you were out, before you got sick in your hair. Result!