Things You Should Know About Relationships In Your 20's

I am almost mildly ashamed to admit I have left my twenties.

They were good and they were grand but now I am wise. This is what I now know:

1) You will pity the girl who's still with the guy she brought to her debs, even if you were jealous of her at the time and for the subsequent 'ease' she seemingly had in the man department. #Boring

2) People lie about how happy they are. It all comes out once they break up. Try to avoid being jealous.

3) You will probably experience being cheated on. It will be shit.

4) You will have the opportunity to cheat on someone. It will hurt them and you would be surprised how long they will hold this against you. Make sure it's worth it if you give in.

5) You can get pregnant from having unprotected sex. Be careful. Rules don't apply to everyone but you.

6) Your parents or their's will catch you at it least once. It will be awkward.

7) Getting smear/STI tests is a horrible but necessary experience. You must do it.

8) The pill is expensive but extremely important. Never scrimp on it.

9) Watching porn is fine but if your boyfriend wants you to star in a porn movie, he's not a keeper.

10) If a guy has a job he should be at least offering to pay on a date.

11) If he is over the age of 25 he should at least be asking you out on a proper date. Bumping into each other around campus isn't really an option at that age.

12) If he's 29 and never had a girlfriend, don't think that you will be the one to change him.

13) If he says he's your boyfriend but he's still on Tinder that's emotional cheating which is not nice and possibly a sackable offense.

14) If he is still seeing his ex and it makes you uncomfortable trust that feeling.

15) The honeymoon phase is bliss. Enjoy it all.

16) Nice is one of the most underrated qualities in a guy. When it's not there, you will miss it.

17) If he doesn't get you a birthday present (even flowers or a nice card) dump him. You don't want to have every birthday ruined for the rest of your life. Trust us, there is someone out there who actually wants to make you happy.

18) If you find yourself nagging and acting clingy, leave him. The more time you spend together the naggier you will get until you actually are a full-time nag- which is shit.

19) You should at least put in a brave attempt to score someone famous or clearly who, if you're being honest, is out of your league. You could end up going out and you will then realise they are lucky to have you.

20) People will blatantly marry just for money. Don't.

21) Just because your boyfriend thinks 3 Big Macs is a snack you do not have to follow suit.

22) Stay true to yourself. Just because he's a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to become one, just because he likes Formula 1 doesn't mean you have to like it too. These little differences are what makes you interesting.

23) Don't ever feel rushed by him (within reason). If you take 45 mins to dry your hair, take it. He'll appreciate the end result.

24) Don't ever dim your lights for his sake. If you're more intelligent don't hide it to make him look better. That kind of thing wrecks your self-esteem.

25) If you get an amazing job offer in LA/Miami/London/New York accept it. Skype exists and if he's worth it, he will be there on the other side.

26) Being a bit metro is fine but if he's using your nice shampoo/moisturiser/tights every day it's too much. 

27) If his mother hates you suck it up. You will not win at this.

28) If he snores now, he won't likely stop magically on his own. Invest in ear plugs or research any kind of treatment that has a hope of actually working. Apply it to him.

29) Professor Green is married to Mille Mackintosh and they appear to have a very nice life. Stop waiting for him.

30) But it's OK as there are plenty of other nice guys out there.

31) Don't be one of those girls who ditches her girlfriends.

32) Lastly