Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Boyfriend

Well some of these are fairly standard, but for girls in the infancy stage of their first real relationship you should study these hard. There's also still a few girls out their who continue to make these amateur mistakes. Steer clear of these 12 things, and you'll have a relatively happy relationship.

12) "So we're running a little late. Relax."

I think we can all agree here that "WE" in this scenario almost always means "SHE." Telling him to relax is only going to add coal to the fire. He won't be happy. Grab your makeup and do it in the car.

11) "Your dad is so hot."

Don't say it. It's just weird and really off-putting.

10) "OMG baby, I'm late by one day!!"

Missing your period by one day is not enough to freak out, and it is certainly not enough to tell your boyfriend of your dramatic anxiety. We don't want to know the inner workings of your menstrual cycle, just like you wouldn't like to hear about our daily bowel movements. It's nice to maintain a little mystery in the relationship. Call us when you're a week late. That'll be a better sign, that you're pregnant, and it will give us time to book our one-way flight to Australia.

9) "We're going out with my friend Sarah and her boyfriend."

He absolutely hates spending forced time together with some guy that he doesn't even know. And there's no way out of it when it's a couple's date. Another good rule of thumb is to inform him of any plans you're making which involve him. Don't just spring it on him spur-the-moment because he usually won't like it.

8) "Is that it?" (After seeing his Johnson)

You will cut him to the core of his very existence with this comment, no matter what size it is. Could be 7 inches or maybe just 4, it is the ultimate sleight of his masculinity. Believe it or not, he hasn't seen many erect penises in his lifetime so has nothing really to compare his to.

7) "Already?" (After Sex)

Well, this one you can say if he's dropping his coins before he gets to the slot machine. But he won't be happy. Premature ejaculation is nothing to laugh about ladies. Well, it kind of is.

6) "I kissed your best friend."

If you did commit this atrocity, it's probably best you don't tell him to his face. You and his best friend will both be in for it.

5) "Just try it on."

Boyfriends never like to go shopping with their girlfriends. Even if he tells you that he does, he's lying. It's like visiting your cousins on Christmas - something you just have to do and get it over with.

4) "Whatever."

Nothing will infuriate your boyfriend more than you ending an argument by giving him the palm to the face, tutting loudly and saying: "Whatever."

3) "What's offside mean?"

Don't ask, because no matter how detailed his explanation is, you just won't get it.

2) "Well, I think I took my pill anyway..."

Even if you think you didn't take it, don't let him know. That is your business and yours alone. He can't do it for you. It's his business to put on a condom and it's yours to take your pill. Doesn't seem fair? Well, that's because it isn't. That's life.

1) "I'm preggers ... just kidding."

You will give your boyfriend a mini heart attack! He will be furious but also insanely relieved! His emotions will be so out of control that he won't know how to react. This is never a topic to be joked about. You don't want to send him to an early grave, or do you?