What A Man's Footwear Says About Him
Apparently women can tell a lot about a guy based on his shoes, or like a guy based on his shoes, or won't consider sleeping with a guy unless he's wearing some shoes.....or something. Anyway guys, here's what your shoes say about you.
Converse
To be honest I feel like Urban Dictionary has this one down to a tee...
"Shut the fuck up. Converse are amazing, always have been and always will be, no matter who wears them. If you pricks actually stop wearing a brand of shoes because "preps" have started wearing them, you're a pathetic piece of shit and should be shot immediately. "
Couldn't have put it better myself...
Vans
The evil half brother of Converse. As an avid Vans wearer you were mothered too much as a child and were never allowed a skateboard. You were wrapped in cotton wool and weren't allowed your first drink until your 18 birthday..... Sorry to hear about that..
These Puma's
You aspire to Geordie/Jersey Shore and more than likely overwork your glamour muscles in the gym, shave your chest and apply fake tan to your balls.... or some combination of the aforementioned....
Desert Boots
You are soooooo changeable. You are currently only sporting these because River Island has told you to. But you don't care...because you get a lot of this.
Black dress shoes
We're presuming you're not going somewhere dressy, we're presuming you never do. We're presuming they're your only pair of shoes because your favourite nightclub introduced a shoes only policy. Bottom line, you wear them with jeans and have no sense of style. Shame on you.
Timberlands
Oh whats that? You like UFC? No way. You more than likely love rap music and never leave the house without your trusty baggy (or at the very least boot cut) jeans...look no matter what you think, you are not Jay Z.
The Falling Apart/About to Mutate Shoes
You are one of three things a) a hoarder, b) poor or c) unwilling to throw them out because you lost your virginity in them.
Sandals
Who are you?...Jesus?
Sandals with socks
Who are you? Jesus with socks?
Trainers
Whether its runners or trainers you are the epitome of sportyness. Unless they are a pair of LA Lights that cost you a tenner in Dunnes...then you're just a big child...
High Tops
Your internal monologue tells you you're Marty McFly... but your not. You're a kid stuck in a time warp who thinks its great to have a pair of futuristic high tops that were the future in 1987, but now that we've actually arrived in the future the relevant companies have become lazy and just re-released said high top designs in order to coincide with the models that were available to Marty in the films. Surely in the twenty years since someone could have invented a realistic futuristic shoe...don't even get me started on the f*cking hover-board. Lazy fashion, brilliant marketing. You are a sucker sucka!
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