21 Gas Tweets About Being Single, That Will Make You Say "That's Me"
The things we have to endure when we're searching for love. Painful chat up lines, awkward silences, swiping right while thinking 'Bet this one's gonna be a weirdo' - compared to the likes of Sex and the City, it's far from cosmos we were reared!
Here are some hilarious tweets that are spot on when it comes to describing the single life.
Guaranteed you'll be thinking, 'That's me,' when you read some of the these:
Online dating is great craic
*collects bumble matches like baseball cards, but never talks to any of them* WHY WONT ANYONE TAKE ME ON A DATE ?!?! #whyimsingle #introvertprobs
— Carrie Johnson (@inJUNKery) January 17, 2018
Decided to re-try online dating. Few messages, few nice guys. One actually picks up the phone and calls today...to as if I'm a 'sensual woman.' FFS. #onlinedating #whyimsingle
— RememberingHowToFly (@TinyBitHigher) January 15, 2018
I realized when I go through tinder, when I swipe left, in my head I go “no” but if I swipe right I say “he’ll do” #whyimsingle
— jordan? (@jordan_meow) January 3, 2018
Message from a guy on a dating site: "hi beutiful"
Me: *beautiful#whyimsingle— Maureen ? (@PadreGirl73) December 30, 2017
Online dating summed up in 40 minutes.#whyimsingle pic.twitter.com/CohferXCm7
— Karen B (@karenb0716) December 22, 2017
Like a fairytale...
I went on a double date with a minor league soccer player and he kicked a soccer ball so hard and it me in the face on accident and I had to leave the date early in a cab alone and have an appointment for a possible concussion. #whyimsingle
— illuminally ? (@b0wlingally) December 19, 2017
I'm 5'8".
I weighted 135 lbs.
He said, "Here, this will help you manage your weight, now that you're getting older."#WhyImSingle
— Mush (@MushKat) December 15, 2017
Once, a friend of my brother's asked me out by saying, "I'll even shower before our date." #WhyImSingle
— Erika39 (@taurusfroggy) December 11, 2017
We don't always help ourselves
Got asked on a date - literally choosing to eat a donut and watch Netflix instead. #whyimsingle
— Courtney Marie (@CourtMarie211) January 19, 2018
Instead of appreciating a man’s kind gesture of offering his seat to me, I think he’s insinuating I’m pregnant. #whyimsingle
— Jhasmine Bacatan (@jhascassandra) January 18,
Does anyone else go out and think “man I wish I was in bed watching the office?” Yet another reason I can’t meet someone. #theoffice #whyimsingle
— Megan Gutierrez (@MeganGutierrez) December 23, 2017
2017
#whyimsingle I send messages like this on dating apps...for the record I never got a response back. pic.twitter.com/0knoAWHgQZ
— SabieKay (@SabieKay) December 11, 2017
#WhyImSingle... Friday nights: Getting in Twitter fights about the #SchumerShutdown while eating sweet potato fries...
— Antonia Okafor (@antonia_okafor) January 20, 2018
Still chuckle at the word “discombobulated”. Such a great word #whyimsingle
— Hummus is bae (@tbanfir) December 1, 2017
When the harsh reality sets in
So the fact that 13 year old @milliebbrown MAY be dating makes me sad that i am 18 1/2 and still haven’t had a boyfriend ?? #SingleLife
— Claudia Marina (@AClaudiabotton) January 18, 2018
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When that one creepy kid in high school gets married and ur still single so just drink #whyimsingle pic.twitter.com/0eRdDDW4Xg
— Erica Williams (@erica1919w) November 30, 2017
Y’all excited to see what y’all boo gets y’all for Valentine’s Day But I’m just excited to see those discounts for the chocolate, nawimsaying? #singlelife
— ❃B (@brribear) January 19, 2018
The single life. No one to call or msg so no one looks for you. You pass out in front of the tv for 2 hours, wake up and negotiate getting up to go to bed...rarely a successful negotiation.
— Mzingaye (@DezDelvekio) January 19, 2018
It's a journey of self-discovery if nothing else
Sometimes I wonder why I'm single.
And then I get excited when I find a boatload of British history documentaries on YouTube. #thisiswhyimsingle #whyimsingle
— Amanda (@GypsyGrlNxtDoor) January 20, 2018
I just sneezed and my retainer went flying across the room in the dark. #whyimsingle
— Jess Saade (@JessSaade) January 8, 2018
I spent an hour talking to some guy at mallarkeys and then went a puked on myself in the bathroom #whyimsingle
— danielcook//maddiecalhoun//nikkiballs (@ErinFialks) January 1, 2018
#WhyImSingle pic.twitter.com/SkHAl6vVYY
— Mark Hannon (@MHannon85) December 31, 2017