10 Weird Things Guys Do When They're Alone

When we're by ourselves, guys can do some pretty strange things. You know how it is, you just can't share everything about your life with others (such as your deep, dark fantasies), a man needs to maintain his mystery... because if you knew some of the shit he gets up to you'd lose all respect for him. If you don't mind getting an in-depth look at the oddness of male behaviour behind closed doors, check out the 10 weird things guys do when they're alone:

10). Regardless of physique, they will flex in front of the mirror.

9). Oftentimes they will remember something embarrassing they did years before and proceed to beat themselves up about it.

8). Should privacy be guaranteed, they love to shit with the bathroom door open. Now that's luxury.

7).  Sometimes they have sweaty balls which stick to the side of their legs, so they spread their legs widely to come unstuck and feel that awesome sensation of cutting loose.

6).  While it's a cliché to say all dudes will watch porn when left to their own devices, what you mightn't know is that they spend more time looking for the right porn than they do actually wanking.

5).  They fantasize about saving loved ones from worst case scenarios.

4). They daydream about the perfect response to someone who gave them shit.

3). They simply cup their own balls. There's no sexual motivation here you understand, it’s purely for the comforting feeling.

2). They piss at full power to make pee bubbles. Such a rush.

1).  They scratch their balls and, since they're safe in the knowledge that no one will ever know, they take a good ol' whiff of their fingers. Men: we truly are a bunch of dirty bastards.