What Girls REALLY Do At Sleepovers

There’s a stereotyped view of what goes on at girls' sleepovers, maybe it’s just men fantasising about a significant number of girls alone in a bedroom.

I did some online research into this and when asked, girls (mainly from America) say they prank call boys, paint each other nails, and watch chick flicks.

However.. I think it’s time to break it to everyone what we really get up to on our girly nights in. I apologise in advance for any disappointment caused.

First of all, I just want to confirm that we DON’T have pillow fights, in the movies and for as long as man has lived on earth, they’ve have a misconception that girls jump around the bed, giggling like a school girl, whacking duck feathers off each others face in their short shorts and their bras, let’s just say if someone slapped a pillow off me, I'd punch them in the face..those things really hurt.

What we do however, is fart and burp like there’s no one around. Yes, we might hold it in around you or leave the room when we feel it coming... but when you’re not around, we let it all out. And for those girls going scarlet reading this, you do it too. don’t lie to yourself.

Boys might have an image of us running around naked or just in our underwear and laughing and joking while we braid each other's hair. In reality, it's too cold for that shit, and no one deserves to see the amount of cellulite on my massive arse, and quite frankly, if I had two peas for tastes, I wouldn’t be letting them out next to Jordan beside me either.

The main thing girls do at sleepovers is talk about everything and everyone, every girl is a bitch.

Even though you might not think you’re two-faced, doing it with your best friend doesn’t count…right?

We spend hours judging everyone, laughing hysterically at how much weight your ex boyfriend’s girlfriend has put on.. and talking about all the goss, like who’s the latest to cheat on their boyfriend #sammysnakes

One thing boys do get right, however, is that we do talk about guys, but not so much the way you’d imagine.

It’s not so much the “OMG Jake from math class is so cute” it’s more like… “Jake sent me a pic of his dick on Snapchat last night!”

…”do you guys wanna see?”

and then they will laugh.. and laugh.. and laugh…

Girls spend a lot of time talking about sex and relationships, and yes she will tell her girlfriends about that one time you attempted to go up the “forbidden forest”

No man or his dignity is safe… none!

It’s like a competition of who’s had the worst experiences, and the best, of course and again, they will laugh… and laugh.. and laugh.

But we mostly just sit there, drinking wine.

It’s that simple, we eat a pizza or two and some M&Ms and some popcorn and some jellies and then more wine.

And 3 bottles of wine, and a food baby later, we drown our sorrows crying about how fat we are.

“OMG, I need to lose 5 pounds, meet Tina, the talking tummy!” while grabbing our hip fat and shoving chocolate into our mouth!

The best kind of sleepovers are when one of the gang is completely depressed (let me finish) and we have a chick flick night, absolutely ossified drunk, dancing around the room to “I am a woman, hear me roar” from Sex and The City!

Or how we are a wolfpack; “WE’RE BLOOD BROTHERS!”

Crying our eyes out when BIG leaves Carrie at the altar “ALL MEN ARE BASTARDS! THIS IS WHY I’M BECOMING A LESBIAN!”

We’ve all been there.

But the sad thing is nowadays I spend most of my time at sleepovers scrolling through my newsfeed #exciting

We still do all the same things, but spend most of our time on social networks, sending Snapchats of our 60 chins to our boyfriends, even though we can barely see in front of us #lolling

Creeping through Facebook, comparing ourselves to all the skinny bitches who post constant selfies of them working out #iswinefattening?

“OMG she’s so skinny, she’s so depressing.. wish I was her” “she is so pretty.. look at how long her hair is”

This is about as close as we get to lesbianism #creeping.

We take hundreds of selfies, making ridiculous faces, and put every one of them on Facebook, and even though my friend who tagged me in a status is sitting beside me. I’m gonna comment back, because hey, that’s the 21st century for you.

On a final note, if you’re a guy reading this, you might want to rethink you who trust on Snapchat.

I’ve heard many stories about girls who have managed to do so much damage, they could wreck your relationship.

Maybe, just maybe, we might actually sleep at some stage, depending on the craic and banter