Here's How To Actually Stop Craving Spice Bags
Spice bags are a staple part of Irish takeaway culture and aren't going anywhere anytime soon. However, their deliciousness can sometimes get the better of us.
That once a week "treat" can turn into a three times a week essential. You probably know the number for the Chinese off by heart, they know your order once they hear your voice and you're turning into a fat piece of shite. If you want to start weaning yourself off spice bags we've come up with a few tried and tested solutions to stop you craving them.
1. Delete the number of the Chinese from your phone
This is the first step in ensuring you never repeat your mistakes again. By deleting the number you won't be able to book your spice bag in advance and may actually stop eating them.
2. Throw out all leaflets from the Chinese
This is pretty self explanatory. The phone number will also be on your local Chinese's leaflets, so in the words of Elsa, 'Let it go.'
3. Move away to England
Spice bags are notoriously Irish and it'll be a struggle to find them anywhere else, so if you're desperate just move over to England – lol.
4. Lock your house phone in a safe
This is the main way most people call the Chinese, so for some it's the only viable option. If you have to do the same with your mobile, do what you have to do.
5. Use hypnosis
Hypnosis your addiction away, it'll help you to stop thinking about those delicious spicy, salty, crispy....stop it.
6. Isolate yourself
Lock yourself in a room and throw away the key. This way you'll have no way of accessing a spice bag or any food for that matter – yey.
7. Eat a salad
And then cry over how unsatisfied you are and reach for that phone.
8. Go on a sodium-free diet
Ha, good luck with that.
9. Give up
You're a hopeless piece of shite, stick to just one a week. We knew you couldn't quit anyway.
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