6 Reasons To Have A Good Sit Down
"Oh, yes, sitting; the great leveller. From the mighiest pharoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit?"
-Charles Montgomery Burns.
There is a key difference between sitting down and having a good aul sit; merely sitting down is no more than the act of not standing up, a good sit however is a concerted effort to lower your arse onto a seat at the ideal angle so at to solicit the perfect amount of relaxation. It is a zen-like state of mind similar to attaining nirvana, or doing ket' in a field.
Here are our best reasons to have a good aul sit.
1. You have a few minutes before you have to head to work
Your phone's alarm goes off, you suffer through the ordeal of dragging yourself out of bed into the predawn chill, you get ready incredibly slowly as every fibre of your being protests.
A here, it's 7.02 AM, you don't have to run for the bus til 7.10 AM, you may as well lower yourself onto your hole and have a good aul sit.
2. You've been in the office sitting down all day
In today's increasingly sedentary workplace you can find yourself perched on an office chair all day long. Somehow this can be just as draining as if you had spent the entire day shovelling coal or hitting orphans, like in olden times.
Depressurise from the faintly toxic hours spend lounging quasi-supine in an office chair by having a good aul sit. Lower yourself down into a daycent seat and exhale an almost tantric sigh of relief.
3. Sure you've just made a cup of tae
There's few things in this life more stirring to the human spirit than an expertly made- no, crafted cuppa tae. Such a thing, made with patience and a sort of beautiful alchemy deserves your rapt attention; when you receive communion you kneel at the alter, when you drink a good cup of tea, you have a good aul sit.
4. You've been stuck in a car all day
There's few things more exhausting than being stuck in transit all day in a cramped condensation-fugged car. Your hindquarters become a tangle of pins and needles and you can't wait to get out and stretch your poor confined legs.
Well, stretch your legs, stretch them into broad strides, get into your house, plant your hole down on the couch, and have a good aul sit.
5. You've been stuck in lectures all day
You have just spent the last eight hours of your life languishing in some frigid lecture hall as cavalcade of lecturers shited on about economics, art history, owls, or whatever. The small of your back is actually in bits from spending so long stooped in those uncomfortable lecture hall chairs.
You know what you've earned? Yeah you do; a BA! Congrats! Now celebrate with a good aul sit down.
6. The enemy have breached the outer walls, the city is in flames, the keep is holding but for how long?
Jays, how are you going to get out of this one? Well, you know what? Why don't you have a good aul sit and think it over?
