Fake Christmas Trees Vs Real Christmas Trees - Our Buyer's Guide

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and soon everyone will be propping up overly-flamboyant foliage in their living rooms. Baubles, tinsel, and weird little angel shoved up the top, christmas trees are a true hallmark of the festive season.

No matter how you decorate it there is one question that remains; what's better artificial or real? It's time that we settled this eternal conundrum. Here are the pros and cons of artificial and real trees.

Artificial

Pros

• They don't shed needles constantly.
• They fold up for easy storage.
• You only have to buy them once and they last for years.
• When you think about it, plastic trees are kinda like sex dolls for conifers. That's funny.
• If you knock it over it won't do much damage, it's not very heavy.

Cons

• They can look tacky. Just like you do in that top.
• They gather an ungodly amount of dust.
• When you think about it, plastic trees are kinda like sex dolls for conifers. That's gross.
• If you try and burn it for warmth it will fill your house with toxic fumes

Real tree

Pros

• The smell, real trees smell just like the little one you have in your car!
• It always looks amazing. Like, they have branches and shit.
• You get to watch it slowly die, revel in your superiority as you out-live this feeble plant.
• If someone knocks it over and it falls on them, it will definitely kill them. That's what they get, the pricks.

Cons

• It will shed needles everywhere like a balding hedgehog.
• You have to watch it die, and it will serve as a constant reminder of your own mortality
• Can trees feel pain?
• Jesus remember the siege of Isengard? Ents are basically trees and they WRECKED Saruman's gaff. Fuck.
• They're expensive.

So there we have it; the definitive pros and cons, to help you make an informed decision!