Where were you?! 5 Ways To Stop Being So Clingy

Do you need to know the location of your significant other at all times? Do you require them to be in constant contact with you? Do you get all pissy when they dare to do something with their friends without you? Do you lose your fucking shit when you see them with a member of the opposite sex? If this is you, you may just be a Stage 5 Clinger. Don't be that person. Follow this quick and easy guide to say goodbye to your clinging days forever:

1) Give Them Space

They call your kind "clingy" for a reason, you just cannot freaking let go of your boo. You need to step back, take a deep breath and realise that while your partner may like or even love you, no one wants to spend all of their free time with just one person. That's insane.

2) Build Your Confidence

A lot of needinessis rooted in low self-esteem. A clinger will try to derive their self-worth from their boyfriend or girlfriend because they have low levels of their own and this leads to an unhealthy sense of dependency. By doing something that boosts your confidence – learning a new language, chasing a career goal, or I dunno, pole-dancing lessons – you'll become a more independent person, i.e. not a needy freak.

3) Avoid Dependence

Falling into the clinger trap is as easy as building your world all around your partner, to the point where they really are your everything. You spend so much time with them that you can't maintain relationships beyond them, your life outside of that person becomes nonexistent and you have no alternative social outlets. The best way to overcome this is to prevent it from ever happening in the first place, don't neglect your mates and become a relationship parasite.

4) Be More Trusting

If you feel that you can't trust your partner to leave the house by themselves or meet new people without you, you really need to question why you're in a relationship in the first place. If this is a problem of yours, then you need to let go of your trust issues if you're ever going to stop being a needy lunatic.

5) Grow Up

Too many people shirk personal responsibility with excuses like "I can't help the way I am" or "I'm just the jealous type". That's absolute horseshit and a complete cop-out. You need to be aware of your own behaviour and accept accountability for your own actions. And bear in mind who else throws temper tantrums in order to get attention from the ones they care about: babies.