Jealous Much? Signs Your Needy Bestie is Ruining Your Love Life

So you and your best friend have been inseparable for years. You love each other and do everything together. However, since you've been in a relationship they've been super distant, or mean, or even accusing you of ignoring them. They're making your new relationship suck because they are constantly trying to break the two of you up. Why? Partly because they're jealous and feeling left out and partly because they aren't ready to go it alone yet. They want to stay the way you were forever. Which is nice, but it's also sad. We've all got to grow up one day. Unless your boyfriend is the biggest dick in the universe, they should let you be happy and stop trying to control you. You are your own person, and that means that if you find someone who likes you and who you like back, then you have every right to explore those feelings. Your best friend can't use the fact that she's single to keep you single. That's not fair.

1) "You are always choosing him over me!"

Ok, no. I know the phrase 'bros before hoes' has been a pretty popular one. But, people need to recognise that romantic relationships are important too. Yeah boyfriends can come and go, but they could also stick around for a while. It's important to make time for both your friends and your boyfriend, not one or the other. If you have a traditional thing you do every week with your bestie: Friday night drinks, or a movie night, or watching a TV show, don't cancel that date. However, if you make plans with you new boyfriend on a day that you normally would never see your bestie, that's fair game. You aren't choosing anyone over anyone. Your friend shouldn't get mad at you for wanting to hang out with your new man. They should be happy for you.

2) "You shouldn't be in a relationship in college. These are the best years of our lives!"

Hey, if you find someone you really like, why not go for it? Who cares if you're in high school, college or in your fifties. Why does it matter? You can still have a great time with your friends and not get with random people from the college bar, or have one night stands. In fact, friends that try to convince you to cheat on your boyfriend so that you can have a proper 'college experience' are not friends at all. You are still you if you're in a relationship. They should accept that and stop trying to ruin your relationship. If your friend has never had a proper relationship then they don't really have a leg to stand on. They have no experience in the relationship field, so what gives them the right to lecture you on your love life?

3) "You never talk about anything but your boyfriend."

They say after you've both just spent the last half hour bitching about your tutor, until you got a text from your boyfriend. You didn't even mention him once! But once they see who it's from, immediately your friend clams up and is pissed off. You reckon it's jealousy, they probably feel like they're being replaced. But, hello, no! Did you ever have sex with your best friend, or have romantic feelings towards them? No? Then how are you being replaced? If you are still hanging out the exact same amount as you always have and still tell each other everything and have nights out, how are they being replaced?? There are some things you can only get from a romantic partner, which is why we humans seek them out. Just because your bestie doesn't want a boyfriend or hasn't found anyone, it doesn't mean you shouldn't have one either.

4) "What do you even see in him?"

If you've found someone who you like and likes you back, who you think is attractive and funny, then that's cool. You don't need to prove their worth to everybody. However, if everyone is like 'that guy's a dick' maybe take a step back and have a good look at who you're dating. If the guy is totally great and good-looking but your bestie is still complaining about him to you, that's not fair. If she constantly points out things that he's doing 'wrong', like that time that he slept in accidentally and was late for a meet-up with you, which he apologised for and brought you a muffin, then she's exaggerating slightly. Or how about that time she ranted for an hour about him having a boys night. What's wrong with him hanging out with his friends, when you go out with yours? Is she pointing out his 'flaws' so that you'll dump him and she'll have you all to your self again? You aren't even her only friend! She's super popular!

5) "He's not good enough for you."

Shouldn't you get to be the decider on that? Granted if you are going out with an ass and your friends tell you so in a sort of intervention situation, then again, take a good look at who you're dating. However, if this was a guy that your bestie referred to as 'the perfect guy' before you started dating, then maybe she's just trying to turn you off him. It could be because she wants you all to herself - not in a sexual way of course - or maybe she's interested in him herself. Either way it's underhanded. If she has a problem with your relationship, talk about it. Don't fall out over a guy but open up communications. Maybe something else is going on in her life and she's taking it out on you and your new seemingly perfect relationship.

6) "I remember when you used to be fun."

Often uttered at the end of a great night out when you inform her that you're going to spend the night at your boyfriend's place. Apparently sleeping with a guy that you love is boring, but if you did like she wanted and went home with a random stranger then you'd be super cool. Maybe she mentions it when you say you can't head out because of an assignment and she immediately assumes that you're lying and going to hang out with your boyfriend. If anything, the girl needs to realise that her life, even though it's important to you, is not the centre of your universe. You care about her, but you care about your happiness too. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness for hers. Especially when she says crap like that and then takes it back, saying that she was "only teasing," and that you shouldn't take things "so seriously". You know she means it. It's not nice.

7) "I'm not trying to stir shit up, but I think your boyfriend just hit on me."

Hopefully she's reading too much into the situation and this isn't the case at all. Maybe he was just being nice to her because you've told him that she's been acting weird about your relationship. Maybe he offered to buy her a drink, or give her a lift somewhere. If you know that she isn't his type and that you're the only one he's interested in, then she is just trying to stir shit up. Or maybe she just thinks that every guy who is nice to her is trying to sleep with her. Which, by the way, is classic needy girl behaviour.

8) "It's not that I'm not happy for you, I am. I just prefer you when you're single."

Unless you're the type of girl who drops her friends when she's in a relationship, this shouldn't be an issue. At the beginning of a new relationship, we do get sucked in and sometimes let things slip. But if, after the initial high, you are making time for your friends and your new guy, why is she complaining? She should be happy for you. Is she afraid that you might forget about her and she'll die alone? Is she counting down the days until you're single again? That's not healthy. She should be able to make herself happy and not depend so completely on you for her happiness. You might not be around forever. You could change schools or move countries. None of this means that doesn't mean you don't care about them. They need to stop being needy and let you be happy so that they can be happy too.

9) "I can't wait for you guys to break up."

Well thanks, I'm so happy that you're looking forward to my future heartbreak which will most definitely happen. according to you. I'm glad that you can't wait for me to be a total and complete mess of misery who you'll be able to bring out on the town and help get slutted up, just like you. Really, I'm looking forward to the drama and the pain. Oh, and the one night stands with guys I don't know. who probably don't care about me and who I don't care about, in return. And reading so much into everything that every guy says to me because really I just want to make an emotional connection with anyone, even if they're a total douchebag. Really that sounds like an ideal romantic situation. I can't wait to become just as desperate for love as you. Will that make you happy? Seeing as that's the only thing that I should be caring about. Your happiness. 

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