Possible Reasons She's Acting Like A Crazy B*tch

There are generally a whole host of reasons responsible for ensuring that women will act like crazy bitches. Hundreds of reasons, in fact. From the way that you greeted her when she walked in, to the way her shoulders look in that dress, women are fucking mental. End of. For those of you who may need a little help in figuring out why she may be acting a little or a lot cray cray, here are some possible reasons. Read on and be horrified.

1) It's That Time...

Men don't like to address this issue, of that much we're clear. They try to pretend that they're cool, calm men of the world, that is until the 'p' word is mentioned that is, then they'll curl up into a ball and cry softly. I'm here to tell you that if you have no black marks against your name, no reason to think that you're the cause of her craziness, then it can be blamed on one thing and one thing only. If, dear men, you like to convince yourselves that women only use this as an excuse to act mental, then think again. Unless you have experienced what can only be described as having your uterus attempt to self shred, then you must only respond with sympathy.

2) You've Done Something Bad

Oh no. Has she said 'fine', 'ok' or 'whatever', in the past few minutes? If so, then get your damn coat.  You're totally fucked. She knows about that little blimp, that little mistake that you made six months ago and try as you might, she won't let you forget about it. Whatever it was, she won't come out and say it, she's going to punish you with silence and short answers until you try and bring normality into the situation, at which point she'll explode and you'll implode. Yeah, good luck with that.

3) She's Done Something Bad

Therefore she's feeling guilty and will punish you. Sorry, that's just the way women work. If, for example, she was out last night and refuses to talk about it, then she's likely to have got totally shitfaced and ruined her life. She probably cheated on you too. Just keep on pushing her until she cracks and confesses the real truth. The truth which will, no doubt, hurt.

4) She's Really, Really Hungover

Bloodshot eyes, loss of memory, loss of dignity, loss of a stable mental state. She's hungover. Don't anger her, if at all possible. Pat her, bring her tea and pizza and then retreat safely to the furthest, darkest corner.

5) She's Hungry

When was the last time you fed her? Is she on a diet? Did her last meal contain any form of nutrition apart from lettuce? If she is in fact on a diet, then do not, I repeat, do not offer her any form of carbohydrate. Unless you want her to viciously attack you. Which I'm guessing, you do not.

6) She's On The Pill

To men, the pill sounds like a magic sort of dream. One teeny, tiny little tablet a day could prevent you from reproducing a mini monster child. What more could you ask for? Try being on it, I say. What they don't tell you is that you'll be moody, bloated, will probably put weight on and are more than likely going to want to kill something if you don't find one that works for you. No amount of sex can be worth that...

7) Her Friends Are Dickheads

A girl would be nothing without her friends but from time to time they can be a little too much and by too much, I mean they can be complete knob-heads. Sure, our girlfriends are the ones we go to about our men problems but there are some times when we hate them too. There are only so many times you can listen to women bitch about other women and their perfect boyfriends before you start to go a little mental yourself.

8) We Had Terrible Sex

And you are totally to blame. Whether it was all about you as opposed to her or you just finished far too quickly (no, it's not a compliment), she's not too happy about it and won't let you know through words, just crazy bitch actions. Make it all about her tonight, if you know what's good for you.

9) You Followed Someone Else's Advice As Opposed To Hers

She's been telling you to do something for months and you never even considered it. Then suddenly, one of the lads/ your mother/ somebody irrelevant told you the same and you jumped aboard as quickly as your little legs could carry you. Not cool.

10) She's Jealous

When girls get jealous, girls get crazy. It's as simple as that. It could be that you're getting ahead in your career, while she's left lagging behind. It could be that you've got loads of hot female friends. It could be that your ex has gotten back in contact with you. It could be that you're wrong and that's that.

11) She's Having A Really Shit Day

We all have them from time to time. It's just that when a girl has them (perhaps somewhat more frequently, yes), it's not taken quite so lightly. Whether it's work, you, money, neglect or hunger just try and fix the problems before the crazy gets out of hand. One last helpful tip. Try and remember if you've forgotten anything of significant importance. Forgetting things really brings out a girls' inner crazy....

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