Signs Your Relationship Is Heading Down The Toilet
Every relationship you've ever been in started off so exciting and captured your complete attention. But not every relationship works out and you'll quickly learn the common warning signs that your relationship is heading for the bin. If some of these start to happen you know you're in trouble!
Here are the signs that your relationship is heading down the toilet.
9. You both wear sweatpants more often than not.
Wearing sweatpants around your partner too often is a sign that you're getting TOO comfortable in your relationship. You know the type: they wear grey cotton Nike tracksuit bottoms with used tissues poking out of the pockets, loose strings hanging from the waistband with a large tea stain placed around the crotch area. Kind of an obvious sign that you really don't give a shit how your partner sees you anymore. BIG red flag!
8. Spontaneous sex is gone.
You never have sex "just because" anymore. Sex is given only to him as a "reward" for doing something she wants. It never lasts more than 15 minutes and he always finishes before she gets a chance to even come close. You both know each other inside and out by now and the sex rut has been there for a LONG time. She goes as far as to wear her retainer during sex to save time between him finishing and her going to sleep. And he doesn't care how long he lasts, he doesn't even try to keep going. The sooner the better. The bottom line is that you've both completely given up in the bedroom.
7. She doesn't bother dressing nice or wearing makeup anymore.
She never puts on even a hint of eye-liner or even bloody foundation anymore. There's a few whiteheads speckled across her face and she doesn't bother moisturizing her face or taking care of her body anymore.
6. He doesn't shave his nether-regions anymore.
He lets his man-bush blossom into a real life version of Harry Potter's Forbidden Forrest. Beware of the Forbidden Forrest, for those who enter, never know what they'll come back with, if they even come back at all. You know it's bad, when his pubes start climbing from his scrotum and spreading down his groin. Nobody wants to see that. Another BIG red flag.
5. You've run out of things to talk about.
There's silence between you and him when you're at home. You come to life when other people come over because at least THEN you have something to talk about. When visitors appear you both are like a puppy when his owner comes home! You also want to give off the impression that you're in a happy relationship, even though both of you silently admit that you're doomed.
4. She has MORE than the acceptable amount of stubble on her legs.
We're not even talking about 2 weeks without shaving her legs, we're talking anywhere upto a month! And believe me, it happens! Running your hand along her legs from bottom to top is like a series of mini daggers cutting into the palm of your hand. You shudder at the sight of her wearing a skirt. The thing is she has no shame in it anymore. Flush!...
3. You both wear full-body pyjamas to bed.
You both suit up before going to bed. No more sexy lingerie, or having the fun you used to have sleeping naked. No, none of that. You both wear them OAP PJs that cover you from neck to ankle. What a complete turn-off.
2. You never spend any time with each other outside the house.
You enjoy going to work or hanging out with your other friends because you have a small period where you just don't have to see them anymore. It's like a breath of fresh air, until you return to them later.
1. You don't mind shitting in front of him or her.
Here we are at number 1. If you shit in front of each other, then that's a surefire sign your relationship is heading down the toilet (no pun intended). Especially if she does it in front of him...
