Things Men Don't Care About At All

Women, while it takes you two hours to get ready and men ten minutes, the value for time probably isn't worth it. Let's face it, you'll probably just sit in a corner bopping to Katy Perry and then awkwardly break your lower back pulling off a 'skinny pose' from time to time. Here's a list of things men could not give a shit about:

1. Nails

Finger nails, to be precise. Cuticles are great and all but.. wait.. no.. they're not. Nobody gives a shit. Wear a set of driving gloves if you want. Nobody cares.

2. Shoes

Oh my gawd did you Teresa's heels? No. No we did not. You know why? Because NOBODY CARES. You'll only attract some Steven Glansberg-esque type if you think your footwear is gonna help you pull.

3. The 'Skinny Pose'

What is this? Did some form of legion just decide that this was an acceptable stance? How about girls just squat in a circle instead? That'll get a few 'likes'.

4. Makeup

For the love of god. Stop plastering your faces to within an inch of cracking like paper mache. A bit of tan? Sure, can't hurt. But this notion of having a wax model face is beyond ugly. Furthermore, it's deceptive. Nobody wants to smooch a dime and wake up next to Susan Boyle. Fucking snakes.

I'm sure there's a few things women don't care about men doing, so please post below or tweet @collegetimesIRL with your input.