Why Single Girls Actually Like Being Single

Most single girls can be broken down into two main categories. Those who secretly (or not so secretly) want a relationship and those who love being single more than Kim Kardashian loves her own arse. But whether you think you want a relationship or you think love is vile, you are likely to think about them in some shape or form. Here are the thoughts every single girl will have about relationships;

9) "Thank God that's not me"

This is usually said about those couples who, for some unknown reason, are still together despite holding on to a large amount of hatred for their respective other halves. This is nearly always brought out in force on a night out, resulting in everyone else just feeling a bit awkward and wishing they weren't there. Bar?

8) "I wish that was me."

Usually uttered (hopefully not aloud) in the company of those horrifically perfect couples that everyone secretly hates. They look perfect together, so perfect that you know that the one child they'll have three years into their marriage will be a beautiful culmination of two beautiful gene-pools, they get on perfectly together, they are perfect. Now we can all feel perfectly nauseous together.

7) "Men are pricks"

There comes a point in all womens lives when we detest men with every fibre of our being. This is especially true of single women. The wanker brigade is usually out in force on a drunken night out and the slurs fly faster than Sonia O' Sullivan around the tracks down in Mosney. Insulting us is uncalled for. You're not that hot anyway. Fool.

6) "I'm going to die alone"

Women are not being dramatic when we think we're going to die alone. For all intents and purposes, this really amps up when we hit old age, usually around 23. You just have to log on to Facebook and boom, oh there's another damned person in a relationship and, oh, here's me, alone in my nest of loneliness and I haven't had so much as a hug in 7 weeks and counting. TRAGEDY.

5) "Where do people FIND these men?"

Have you ever just gone for a stroll around town and noticed how many couples there are? Of course you have. The fuckers are everywhere. They clog up the space around them like cream clogging up your arteries. As with cream, it's best to be avoided, don't comfort eat your feelings away because all it results in is a bad heart. And Tinder is probably not the answer.  But give it a whirl anyway.

4) "All the good ones are taken"

Well that is just nonsense and you know it. There are very many beautiful men out there with manners and a bottle of Jameson and they're just waiting for you girl, you just need to get out there and mingle like the single Pringle that you are. You'd never know who could appear but failing the appearance of men, then the hip flask in your bag will be the welcome star of the show. We'll drink to that.

3) "Please don't ask me if I'm still single"

Any single girl out there will know the pain of family events where, religiously, one by one, your Aunts will line up and enquire about your love life. "Oh still single are we? No man? Don't worry love, you're still young." They don't mean a word of this. They're secretly panicked as fuck because at your age they were married with four children and a mortgage. You have twenty six euro in your account and your longest relationship lasted five weeks. Same thing really.

2)" Is there something wrong with me?"

There will come a stage, a stage during which you've probably got zero action, when you'll begin to think "is there something wrong with me?" There is nothing wrong with you. It is the men that are to blame of course. Unless you're one of those stage eleven clingers who talks to a lad about weddings after three dates, in which case, I do hope you enjoy being single because you will be for a long long time. Being yourself is very important. Unless being yourself is being a fruitloop. Don't be a fruitloop.

1) "I'd definitely be bored"

Once you've been single for a while (or your whole entire life to date) you almost forget what it's like to be with the same person for a long stretch of time. You've been in your single stride for quite some time now, on the pull on nights out, being free and always on the prowl. You look at couples who've been together for ages and wonder how they're not bored of one another. Just reassure yourself that they most definitely are. In fact, they probably detest one another. Being single is underrated anyway.