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10 Things That Can Happen When Asking Someone Out For The First Time...

When considering asking someone out, our imaginations can get the better of us. We've all been there: you meet someone you think you could like, but you convince yourself you shouldn't ask them out. You rationalise it, but ultimately (even though you're clearly aware of our guidelines for making the perfect first impression) you don't do it because you're afraid of the possibilities. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Good question! The following are 10 things that can happen when asking someone out:

10) They say "I'm sorry... I can't hear you... You're breaking up... This is a bad line" even though this isn't a phone conversation and you're standing right in front of them.

9) They admit that they're only sexually attracted to inanimate objects. However they'll consider getting with you because you're clearly a massive tool.

 

8) They burst into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter, take out their phone and inform a series of people of what has just happened, referring to you as the "insufferable freak" while you continue to sit beside them on the bus.

 

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7) They vomit. Like, projectile-style.

6) They get a little teary and say they've dreamt of this moment since they were a child.

 

5) Their head explodes.

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4) They point at their crotch and say "You will never have this" before performing their customary victory jig.

 

3) They inexplicably break into show tunes and make a dramatic exit.

2) They say they'd love to! They just need to run it by their parole officer first.

 

1) And in joint first place, the most likely options are: they gently decline your offer or they'll say yes. When you put it like that, you may as well just go for it!

Joey Flanagan
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His friends call him Joe, you can call him Mr. Flanagan. A keen taxidermist and prolific writer of erotic Fair City fan-fiction, Joey's accomplishments include completing the Camino de Santiago, getting Ray D'Arcy's autograph over 200 times, and knocking a pig unconscious with one square punch to its jaw.
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