College House Parties: The Cold, Harsh Realities Versus Expectations

We all have great expectations about going to college. You think that you're going to be out drinking all of the time at crazy parties, but in reality, you'll probably be in bed before 10 crying to your mother about the sheer amount of essays that you have due. Here are some truths about college parties:

1) The Location

Expectation: When you get invited to a college party in somebody's house or apartment you immediately think it's going to be a nice spacious place decked out in modern decor, cool fairy lights and enough red cups to sink a ship.

Reality: It's literally a messy room with enough space for 12 people, crappy furniture and a poster that was stuck on the wall by the last people that lived there way back BN (before Netflix).

2) The Arrival

Expectation: I'm going to arrive here and people will try to talk to me from the minute I walk through the door.

Reality: If you arrive when you should, it'll be you sitting in a corner with the people that live there and if you arrive too late, then you'll arrive having to dodge people getting sick or falling on you. Either way it's a lose, lose situation.

3) The Drink

Expectation: I won't need to bring any with me, there'll be loads of drink there and probably bottles of Grey Goose at that. Shots, shots, shots.

Reality: There's a can of Dutch Gold in the fridge and considering that it already looks pissy in colour, I'm not taking any major chances here. Off-licence?

4) Making Friends

Expectation: Great, an opportunity to meet new people and make some friends. I may possibly meet the absolute love of my life here too.

Reality: You cling to your friend for dear life because nobody is talking to anyone. Save me!

5) Flirting

Expectation: I'm going to meet someone tonight that could turn out to be a potential boyfriend/girlfriend.

Reality: People are on their phones, probably on Tinder. Why doesn't anyone have the balls to flirt with anyone else face to face anymore? Why God WHY?

6) How Crazy The Party Will Get

Expectation: The police will be called and people will get arrested. People will be going around with furniture on their heads and the place will be completely wrecked by the end of the night and if there's a roof, someone will be on it.

Reality: A few people will probably fall asleep and there might be one or two getting sick outside. The music won't be that loud and the people that live there will be watching to make sure that nobody wrecks anything. Wild.

7) Getting Your Bit

Expectation: I'm defo getting the ride tonight, for god sake it's college, isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing anyway?

Reality: Either the party is so shit that you decide to leave early because you'd rather be in bed anyway, and the scaldiest drunk tries to kiss you when you're walking out the door, or you're so drunk that you're getting carried home by your friends. Either way, the no pants dance is off the cards tonight bitches.

8) Going Out All Day Errday

Expectation: I'm going to be out every single night. College work can be left to the last minute anyway, right?

Reality: No, college work can't be left until the last minute and you'll have so much of it that you'll barely manage to get out one night a week. When you do have free time, you'll probably spend it in bed mourning the dream college life you never had. Or was that just me....?