Sharks make movies better.
That alone could serve as an intro to this article but for the few that have been living under a rock this week, I feel privileged to inform you IT IS SHARK WEEK. Not only is this the one week a year I look forward too more than Hanukkah, it is also the one week a year that openly praising these sea killers is acceptable.
So without further delay, I give you the ten movies that would be imcomprehensibly better with sharks.
1) Cast Away
The touching tale of a FedEx executive who must transform himself physically and emotionally to survive a crash landing on a deserted island… WITH SHARKS.
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2)Free Willy
The classic story about man and pet, where a young boy who befriends a captive SHARK, named "Willy."
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3) Braveheart
A film interpretation of when William Wallace, a 13th-century Scottish warrior led the Scots in the First War of Scottish Independence against SHARKS.
4)Blue Crush
Let’s be honest, this is just going to turn into Soul Surfer…
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5) Armageddon
The film follows a group of blue collar, deep hole drillers sent by NASA to stop a gigantic SHARK on a collision course with Earth. (I’m not sure how the sharks got into space… but SHARKAGEDDON sounds so much cooler).
6) March of the Penguins/ Happy Feet
Either of these films is dying for a little shark injection. All these penguins are too happy. What the fuck do penguins have to be so happy about?
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7) Titanic
A fictionalized account of the sinking of the RSM Titanic, where two star crossed lovers from different social classes battle to survive the sinking of the ill- fated maiden voyage – AND SHARKS.
8) Pirates of the Caribbean
Not only would this secure the end of the never-ending sequels to this film, but it would also combine two of my favorite things. Sharks and Pirates.
9) Shawshark Redemption
The film tells the story of Andy Dufresne, a banker who spends nearly two decades in Shawshark State Prison (a prison filled with sharks) for the murder of his wife and her lover despite his claims of innocence.
