If, since the end of Love Island, you have been feeling bereft of trashy reality TV predicated around trying to get people to procreate incongruously then good news! Channel 4 is here for you with their new season of Celebs Go Dating.
What's Celebs Go Dating I hear you cry? Well, let me break it down for you, as it is a complex idea; narratively it is very much the 'Inception' of shagging based reality TV. The kernel, the nub of this whole endeavour is that they get some 'Celebs' to 'Go' 'Dating'. The twist is though, they are set to date people who aren't 'Celebs' or 'un-Celebs' if you will. These are people who have yet to reach celebrity status and often have to content themselves with working as a bus driver, factory worker or any other form of normal employment until they are given their shot at stardom.
Simple sounding? Yes. However, in practice, it becomes slightly more murky, as they play fast and loose both with what constitutes a 'Celeb' and what we'd traditionally consider 'Dating'. For example, many people, upon being told they are going on a date with a celebrity, may fantasize about a romantic stroll along a beach with Ryan Gosling, before some cocktails followed by heavy petting near a rock pool as the sun sets. Celebs Go Dating, on the other hand, goes more down the 'Joey Essex taking you for chicken wings' route all with a heavy subtext that you may end up getting fingered.
The format of the show is powerfully simple yet obnoxiously compelling. In principle I despise it, in practice, it is my everything. As far as the standard of dating goes, it makes the woman who tried and failed to throw a poo out a window look like a dating expert. The producers brilliantly manage to assemble a collection of seemingly genuinely nice celebrities and utterly depraved fiends whose personalities only make sense in one of two contexts; on television or in a padded cell.
The list of celebs in this season is as follows:
Advertisement
- James Arg Argent
- Calum Best
- Frankie Cocozza
- Bobby Norris
- Georgia Toffolo
- Sarah-Jane Crawford
- Charlotte Dawson
It may read like a list of people that we will in 5 years write a 'Whatever happened to?:' series of articles. But for now seeing their dating trials – and if things do go poorly enough, court room trials – will suffice.
It's 3 episodes into this season and is broadcast on E4 Monday-Friday at 10pm, however, I strongly recommend you simply watch it on 4oD at your convenience rather than tailoring your entire routine around the exploits of these vaguely recognisable hoodlums.
