Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? Have you ever seen something so unfathomably - so profoundly majestic that it bypasses all reason, bypasses all conscious thought processes and instead bores straight through to your primal brain, striking up a connection, so beautiful, so deep, so all encompassing that it transcends understanding? If the answer is yes then you too must've been wooed by the bulbous charms of the sea toad in last night's episode of Blue Planet 2.
Before last night's episode, were someone to mention to me the phrase 'sea toad' to me, I would've looked either nonplussed, or downright angry. Yet, within a few glorious minutes my whole world had been turned upside down. My life, can now be demarcated into two distinct phases 'pre-toad' and 'sea toad'.
The sea toad is an animal with such a comprehensively sad face it defies logic. Like some sort of dumpy Dementor, it seems to feed on joy, hoovering all mirth from the world wherever it goes. You can imagine all other fish in the ocean sigh and mutter under their breaths in frustration whenever they see one of these chancers trudging glumly towards them. Its face bears a sadness so profound it looks as if it has just looked in the mirror and realised what its own face looks like.
It is the spirit animal of the hungover; of Monday mornings; of waking up to find that there is no more milk left in the fridge; of suddenly having a flashback of that time you accidentally called a primary school teacher 'mum'. It is the distilled embodiment of all known misery and angst in the conceivable universe, expressed in the form of what looks like a ballbag with a sad face emoji drawn on it.
It also has sort of weird feet things on its underside that have developed from fins that it uses to walk on the ocean floor. While that may be wonderful and astounding, evolution-wise, let's not forget about its astoundingly ludicrous face. And, after last night's episode it seems that we as a people have welcomed the sea toad into our lives with open arms.
Sea Toad.
The Farage of the deep pic.twitter.com/q34Xdh3oYl
— Tricky (@Tricky_1) November 5, 2017
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That #seaToad in #BLUEPLANET is straight out of a Hieronymous Bosch painting. Terrifying stuff.
— Zav (@Zavvers) November 5, 2017
The different species that live in the deep are fucking mad, that sea toad with legs stop that #BluePlanet2
— Mollie Hawkins (@mollieeehawkins) November 5, 2017
I, for one, welcome our feet developing sea toad overlords #BluePlanet2
— googlyeyecat ? (@googlyeyecat) November 5, 2017
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Am I the only one in love with the sea toad?? ??
— Chloe Neill⛄ (@chloeneillx) November 6, 2017
Literally flabbergasted by a sea toad. #blueplanetii
— Erin Caldwell (@ErinCaldwell_xo) November 5, 2017
#BluePlanet2 that Sea toad what a legend ?
— Steven Brain (@SBrainzy) November 5, 2017
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hope in my next life im a sea toad #BluePlanet2
— fun_jeremy (@kay__irl) November 5, 2017
That sea toad looks like half of the chicks strutting round Dublin with their dodgy lip fillers ? #BluePlanet2
— ✨❤️caoimhe❤️✨ (@CaoimheKav) November 5, 2017
Sea toad = best thing ever #blueplanet2
— Seb Shepherd (@SebShepherd) November 5, 2017
On a scale of 1 - sea toad how miserable am I about returning to work tomorrow? #BluePlanet2 pic.twitter.com/cED99gWMWu
— Rachael H Funnell (@The_RHF) November 5, 2017
This sea toad is my son
— Dong Dingly (@howmanyapples) November 5, 2017
