Is there anything Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson can't do? From professional wrestling, to starring in seemingly every piece of filmed media since the year 2003 - honestly, if you make a Snapchat lying on your sofa at home, chances are, The Rock will have a starring role - to proving himself a still fertile adult male by successfully procreating for the second time recently, he seems a success at whatever he turns his hand to. Well he has added yet another feather to his cap, another string to his bow, behold his latest folly, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson - Nightmare Factory.
The Rock, through the medium of Photoshop, has seemingly opened up a manufacturing complex to dispense nightmares among the masses. The first thing to roll off the production line? An image of The Rock's infant child, Tiana, lying on his bosom who's had her face digitally replaced with that of Kevin Hart's.
The Rock also wrote an accompanying poem. The Rock implies that he gave birth to this child with the face of Kevin Hart, out of his 'butthole'. The Rock implies that he has a fully functioning set of female reproductive organs secreted in his anus. The nightmare factory I spoke of is within The Rock. The Rock is the nightmare factory.
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Kevin Hart and The Rock worked together in the 2016 action comedy Central Intelligence and have struck up, what modern parlance insists I call, a 'bromance'. This is surely the apogee of their relationship, the soaring height to which all other friendships can only aspire to reach. How many friendships can honestly say that they've ever co-created a piece of media which uses, suitably in context, the greatest hashtag ever used, #OnDaddysPecMeat.
#OnDaddysPecMeat.
The Rock refer's to his own chest as 'Daddy's Pec Meat'. We now know what Pandora's box contains. We have seen the evils of the world; all the horrors this earth can possibly contain. Were you to open Pandora's box, there would be no demons flying out; no swarms of locusts; no terrifying pathogens; no sign of Katie Hopkins clambering out and dusting herself off - the box would contain none of these things. Were you to open Pandora's box all you would find would be this Instagram post printed onto an A4 sheet and, were you to turn that sheet over, on the back, there would be writing. It would say, "I, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, refer to my own chest as 'Daddy's Pec Meat'.
