The 8 Do's and Don'ts Of Attending A House Party

House parties are probably the best invention since sliced bread. It has the comfort of being at a house, the atmosphere of a pub, and the joy of seeing crazy shit you most definitely wouldn't see in public -- all under one roof. When you get that text that Sean is having a house party tonight, you forward it to all your mates. Cancel everything, lads. Tonight, we're getting fucked up. Buuuuuut, let's set some ground rules. Because we aren't complete savages; remember the do's and don'ts of house parties:

1. Do: Predrink Before Attending.

Showing up to a house party sober, especially if it's a friend of a friend of a friend, is a big no-no. You're arriving in the wrong mental state. You need to be at least 4 shots deep in tequila and already have sent a couple of drunk texts. Shit is about to happen.

2. Don't: Put A Case Of Beer In The Fridge At The Party.

If you think no one is watching you put that case of beer in the fridge, you're wrong. The minute you turn the corner, people will run across the kitchen to take the free booze. Keep your booze on you, you dumbass! Carry a small backpack, hide it in the couch, put it in the post-box outside, etc. But, don't put it in the fridge. You might as well just go around handing out free bottle or cans to everyone.

3. Do: Socialize With Other People.

If you're going to a house party and you talk to the same three people you talk to everyday, then you should have stayed home with them. Mingle with randos, shift someone in the corner, and make new friends. If you're not talking about who shifted who last night or the new people you met, then what else would you and your roomies discuss over day-old pizza??

4. Don't: Raid Their Fridge.

Okay, personal story time. Take my advice, and DON'T eat someone's food at a house party. I know you might be hungry, and I know those spring rolls in the freezer just seems perfect right now, but that girl Lucy WILL curse you up and down and you WILL burn your tongue trying to scoff it down before she sees you ate all of her frozen food. Sorry, Lucy. I'm the fucking worst.

5. Do: Expect To Get Locked.

I don't understand the people that casually drink at house parties. What? Why? This is literally the perfect opportunity to get HAMMERED without paying pub prices. You mix your own drinks, down as many shots as you want, and are surrounded by comfy couches to chill on while you realize how wasted you are. House parties were made to get locked.

6. Don't: Fall Asleep.

Speaking of comfy couches...be careful. Don't be that girl who falls asleep in the middle of the party. I've done that...at my OWN house party (and I can't tell if that's worse?). If you start to feel tired, power through. You'll regret the permanent marker on your face the next morning if you fall asleep in the middle of the party. You just gotta rally.

7. Do: Wear Something Comfortable.

This is a house party at the end of the day. Leave your heels at home and wear the forgiving jeans. You'll be running around, spilling beer, and getting sloppy. The lights will be dim, don't worry.

8. Don't: Expect You Are The DJ.

Look. This isn't your house. No one made you in charge. You are not the DJ of the fucking house. Stop being "that person" and manning the music for the entire night. You don't have better taste in music than everyone at the party. That obscure Smiths remix is not gonna "change my life" Plz stop, you're annoying.