10 Psychopathic Thoughts You Have in the Library

It's exam season.  The library is full and everyone in it is feeling the pressure.  No wonder you get a little crazy every once in a while.

1) "I am going to kill the next person who looks up at me when I walk past."

Row upon row of heads dart upwards as you walk past them, looking for a desk of your own.  WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT YOU?  ALL YOU ARE DOING IS WALKING.

2) "I will beat their heads off their desks if they don't stop talking."

Advice to all library users: LEARN TO WHISPER.

3) "There aren't any more plugs.  Why are there no more plugs?  I am going to punch a hole in the wall if I can't find a goddam- oh there's one."

Plugs are a valuable but limited resource.  Get into the library early to avoid the frustration of having nowhere to charge your laptop.

 

4) "It is so fucking hot in here, I am going to scream."

Scream like a kettle letting off steam.

5) "That guy needs to body slam into a pool of lava and burn."

In response to the guy who's breathing too loudly beside you.

6) "That girl needs to swallow my fist in her face."

In response to the girl who's eating too loudly beside you.

7) "I hope he falls and breaks his neck on a trailing laptop lead."

In response to the member of staff who just told you to unplug your laptop because its trailing wire is a safety hazard.

8) "Why is there a queue for the water fountain?!  Why are these people in my way!"

Remember, it's hot in the library.  Other people need to cool down too.

9) "If whoever is hogging that computer doesn't come back from their break within the next half an hour, I am going to throw their stuff out the window and claim that computer as my own."

Nothing is more annoying than a desk or a computer which is left absent for hours on end by whoever is sitting there.  Really, it's a waste of library resources.

10) "DIE!  DIE!  ALL OF YOU DIE!"

In response to the general claustrophobic effect of having hundreds of people sitting uncomfortably close to you.

Really, all things considered, it's amazing that more students don't kill each other.