Given the fact that to be able to drive you have to be organised to have passed your theory test, sorted your insurance, completed all of those stupid lessons and passed the actual test, a lot of your friends probably can't. As a result, those of us who can drive end up giving lifts to a lot of different kinds of people. Some more annoying than others.
"DJs"
They can't help but change the radio station every minute, never listening to a song the whole way through, even if they like it. They're the same kind of people who change the music all the time at house parties, and seem to have the attention span of a 6 year old.
Social Media Addicts
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In their eyes, all of their friends and followers on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat must know about the car journey, when a drive to the shop becomes a 'road trip with my bestie xoxo'.
Drunk People
Load and annoying, made all the worse by the fact that you're incredibly jealous that you're not one of them.
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Sh*t Navigators
Even if they have Google Maps on their phone, they still can't work out where the car is or where we're going. I also include this category the people that give directions like "it's over there", when they're in the back seat and you can't see where they're pointing.
Talkers
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Especially annoying if you're going somewhere new and are trying to concentrate on road signs and lane positions, while they're telling you about how fucked they were on their last night out, or recounting every detail of whatever tv show they're watching at the moment.
Critics
Even though the person in the test centre deemed you good enough at driving to give you a licence, this doesn't stop them finding fault with everything you do. The worst kinds of people are critics who don't even have a licence, but have been driving for a while and claim they just "haven't got a chance to book it yet".
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Farters
They seem to wait until all of the doors are closed and the car is moving before letting rip, giving absolutely no warning so as to give people a chance to maybe open a window or cover their nose or something. They're always the smelliest farts as well.
Scabby People
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Full of empty promises of petrol money and paying back the favour of giving you a lift when they learn to drive, you have long since lost hope of ever seeing either of these things.
Smokers
That stale smoke smell can ruin a car, so be careful to let anyone light up in your car, especially if it's actually your parents' car. Drunk people are the worst for this.
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Messy People
This is a car, not a bin. Please take your empty bottles, cans and wrappers with you. Drunk people are the worst for this as well actually. Bet you really regret not drinking now don't you?
"Passenger Wankers"
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Yes, when it was first shown, the Inbetweeners "bus wankers" joke was hilarious. But that was 5 years ago, and actually doing it yourself stopped being funny about 4 years and 11 months ago. Please roll the window back up.
Awkwardly Tall People
They can't help that their elbows and knees get in the way of the gear stick and the hand brake when they're in the passenger seat, or jamming their knees into your seat if they're sitting in the back. But you can't help thinking that if their legs are that long, they would've been quicker walking.
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Fidgeters
Messing with the heating, the volume on the radio, the electric window, the sun visor, it probably takes every bit of self-control that they have not to reach over and start messing with any buttons that might be on the steering wheel.
Nervous People
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They get so nervous when you're approaching roundabouts and other junctions that it almost rubs off on you, and you start to doubt your own ability to drive, especially considering the fact that they've left a dent in the dashboard from gripping it so tightly.
Team-Mates
Usually they're even smellier than the farters, with that distinctive combination of sweat, grass and muck. The windows also steam up in no time, so it's important to work out how to heaters before you do your first drive to training. Although it's not all bad, I'm sure many a sing-along have broken after football matches all over the country.... No? Just me?
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Your Parent(s)
A combination of critics and nervous people rolled into one. I'm pretty sure my parents were just as excited, if not more, about me passing my test as well, because it meant that I could now give them lifts to and from the pub. Because it's not at all stereotypical for Irish people to get excited about something like that.
