Whether you're 3 or 4 years into College there are a lot of things that you learn coming out the other side. A lot of them are tips and tricks that just make college life easier, but some of them are rules to live by in college. No matter what, there are lot of things you learn by the time you're finished college.
18) How to stretch a sentence into a paragraph
When you start off doing assignments you try and make sure that you're not repeating yourself. This holds true for the first few , but then, eventually you either left it to late to do the assignment or haven't a clue what you're writing about and you're forced to learn how to wing it. You learnt how to stretch a sentence into a paragraph, by saying the same thing but in different ways. You get so good at it that you don't even realise you're doing it.
17) The minimum amount of lectures you need to go to pass
By now you will realize that going to lectures is only necessary for two reasons 1. when exams are coming up and 2. when there is a test in class. Other than that, it's up to you. Most lecturers post the lecture slides online so you don't have to step foot in the class. If there is a percentage going for attendance, then you will go to the minimum amount you have to go to or possibly even admit defeat and start without that 10%...
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16) How to get by without the required readings
Well, to you anyway, there isn't any need for them, you may have started off either buying or taking out every book. You soon realise you don't need to buy any books and even if you did, you wouldn't read them that's for sure. It would really be a waste of money because most of the time it would be collecting dust.
15) You would get nothing done without spark notes
You use spark notes to read 6 chapters in ten minutes. You probably would just write gibberish if you didn't have spark notes. If you're really lazy, you will just copy and paste the notes directly from spark and take credit for it.
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14) The only thing that matters is reaching the word count
You really couldn't care how poorly written or off topic you assignment is, as long as you reach the word count. Your constant statuses about how many words you have left to write solidifies this. You will go on a tangent just so you can reach the word count, most of the time you do the minimum amount that you can get away with.
13) Your sleeping routine is replaced by naps throughout the day
Whether you stayed up doing an assignment the night before or just stayed up watching your favourite show on Netflix, you never get the right amount of sleep. Instead, you take strategic naps throughout the day in your lectures. You always have your laptop open so you can hide behind it.
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12) You're a pro at doing assignments the night before
Too often you get an assignment and are given three weeks to do it and then end up leaving it until the night before, You'll say that you will do them sooner, but things get in the way i.e. catching up on sleep or drinking! You panic just as much, but you have perfected the all nighter and know how to get it done.
11) Your life is ruined when you accidentally delete your work and forget to save it
You pulled an all nighter to get an assignment done and you're almost finished, and then disaster strikes. For some explicable reason all of it gets deleted and you can't get it back. You learn the hard way and next time you will back it up on your computer and save it on a usb just to be sure.
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10) How to live on €50 a week
Being a broke student is part and parcel of being in college, so over your time there you learn how to live off very little. Most of your money is spent on going out anyway and whatever you have left is for food. You know how to be frugal and any chance of a deal you'll snatch it up.
9) How to turn the leftovers in your fridge into a meal
When you're really broke you have a look in your fridge and just make a meal out of whatever is in it. There is a bit of ham, sauce, cheese and crackers somehow you find a way. It's all nicely washed down with a half empty can of beer that you drank last night.
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8) Everyone dresses just as bad as you
It doesn't take long before you realise that all you really need is a t -shirt and some sweat pants and you're good to go. No one really puts in an any effort and during exam time everyone's standards really start to drop.
7) No matter what, hooking up with a classmate is always awkward
Whether you thought it was a good idea at the time or not it is always awkward after. You see them at every lecture, and it's painfully hard to talk to them normally anymore. When there are other friends around, it's not as bad, but god forbid you're left alone together.
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6) You only go to events for the free food
When it's a particularly bad week money wise, you will snatch up every opportunity to get free food. Any time you hear about events going on in college you will pop in to get some food. Once you have some and maybe a drink you're out of there, you just got a free meal.
5) You get bragging rights when you have a higher GPA than your friend
So they got a 3.4 and you a 3.5, maybe it's not the most considerable of margins, but to you it's enough for bragging rights. It's even better when they were saying how "easy" every class was all year, but clearly it wasn't if you found it hard and did better than them.
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4) Wikipeida is the basis for all of your assignments
Most of the time you haven't a clue what your assignments are about when you get them. Your starting point is always Wikipedia, you have learned more from Wikipedia than any of your lectures.
3) How to pretend to like your roommate
You might actually like your roommate, but sooner or later all the little things they do tend to get on your nerves. Over time you learn to put up with their shit and pretend to like them. They probably feel the same about you so keep that in mind.
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2) How to survive the day hungover
Lots and lots coffee is usually the answer and if you have a pair of sunglasses, it's good to have to hide your droopy eyes. 9am lectures feel like torture, but somehow you have learned how to survive the day and more than likely you will do it all over again the next day.
1) How to cram a semesters worth of information into one study session
Out of all the things you have learned from your years in college, this is probably the most useful skill. Being able to condense all that information into one session and then still pass is quite remarkable. You must have a great memory, or if you're like the rest of us it didn't turn out too well and you have a lot of repeats to do during the summer.
