For most people, and definitely my parents, college is where you mature into the adult man/woman that you're going to be for the rest of your life. Which is pretty horrifying to me, and pretty much everyone around me, since I'm passing everything except life. Here are 21, brutally honest examples that sum up my year in college.
1. Yesterday I had frozen pizza for dinner. For the third day in a row.
Today's dinner will consist of leftovers. With a side of stolen goods from my housemate's stash.
2. Breakfast mostly translates to one of two things; burnt toast, or a Dairy Milk around 1pm.
There's just no time in the mornings between trying to get myself out of bed, and actually getting myself out of bed in a F*ck-I'm-late-again rush.
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3. I spent all my money online shopping, and had to ask my parents for a loan. Twice. In a single month.
It's so addictive, and I'm the worst at handling my money. Sorry mum, sorry dad.
4. You know how you've always wanted to wear PJ's to work/class? Yep, did that.
Well okay, they weren't PJ's so much as black leggings. But I slept in them. Twice. And wore them to college. #noregrets. #okaymaybealittle.
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5. I steal on a regular basis.
I'm pretty sure everyone does this once in a while, so it's not a big deal, unless you're a total freak like me who steals everything from loo rolls to straws, in restaurants, college, shopping centers.. Hey, it's technically free anyway.
6. I've had alcohol for breakfast.
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Not gonna lie, when you're in class til 6 sometimes you need a little wake me up to start the day. And it's called vodka.
7. I've gone to the pub between exams.
Sometimes, if you live in a hell like my college, you have two exams on the one day, with a nice two hour break between them. So how do you wind down and prepare for the next exam? With a drink of course.
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8. I've had a one-night-stand with someone I avoid at all costs now.
There are two reasons I run in college: To catch the ice cream truck, and to disappear from the person I slept with once. Like 4 days ago or something; get over it already. *dramatic hair swish*
9. I used cling film over dishes so I didn't have to wash them.
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Step 1: Put cling film over breakfast bowl. Step 2: Pour/eat cereal. Step 3: Remove and dispose of used cling film. Result: Breakfast bowl is still clean. (Except your mother is ashamed.)
10. I left pots in the sink for 3 weeks straight.
Just washing the items you need. Or using plastic forks left over from your curry. That works.
11. I have re-used towels an unhygienic amount of times because I couldn't be arsed doing laundry.
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Yeah but sure you only use them to DRY yourself, so they're never THAT dirty... Right...?
12. NEVER doing laundry. Oops?
That's what going home to the parents every 3/4 weeks is for. Right?
13. I've reused socks based on how many hours I spent wearing them.
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"6 hours isn't that long... they're not that bad" Something like that.
14. I've used febreeze instead of deodorant cause I ran out.
It was the only thing in the press that smelt good... And plus, I haven't done laundry yet.
15. I've stayed up all night to watch Netflix even though I had an exam the next day.
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BUT THE NEW SEASON OF OITNB JUST CAME OUT. And everyone's going to be sharing spoilers online. So I *have* to. #NetflixBinge
16. Spent most of 1st year pranking my housemate and as a result, am constantly afraid.
The fear is real.
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17. I have watched "The Wiggles" until 4 am with my housemate instead of studying.
...And yelling 'helpful' advice at the Wiggles. (Disclaimer: There might have been alcohol involved.) #Mature
18. I've sacrificed the doctor for a night out.
Sure, it *looks* broken, but it's probably just sprained... *Straps on heels to go out* Be grand, sure. *limps to club*
19. I've done a last minute assignment in 4 hours at 3am, despite having four months to complete it.
I forgot about it! ....Or at least, that's what I'm telling everyone.
