1) "So where are you from anyway?"
2) "Are you working late tonight?"
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3) "What? Sure I gave you €3 the last time I was in here!"
4) "Any chance of a free lollipop?"
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5) "Which aftershave do you reckon I'll pull with?"
6)"I'll be in there for a while pal."
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7) "Any yokes?"
8)"Does the smell ever annoy you?"
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9) "How did you even get this job?"
10) "Did you buy all of this aftershave? Like is it yours I mean?"
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11) "Do you give change?"
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12) "You're doing a good job man!"
13) "We're sound. Sure we're mates like."
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14) "Sure I'll see you out there."
15) "Can I smoke in here?"
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16) "I'd say you're mad for a pint are you?"
17) "Jesus everyone's so drunk aren't they?"
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18) "Do you ever get sick of talking to all these drunk idiots?"
19) "Do you want a fag?"
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20) "I'm actually grand. I'm not even that drunk at all."
21) "Sure jump into the picture with us!"
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And remember...
“No soap, no hope.”
“No splash, no gash.”
“Wash your fingers for de mingers.”
“No Armani, no punani.”
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“No spray, no lay”
“No tissue, no issue.”
“No Davidoff, no suck it off.”
“No wash, no nosh.”
“No gum, no cum.”
“No money, no honeyz.”
“No cologne, go home alone.”
“No Calvin Klein, no 69.”
“No designer, no vagina.”
Know what looks good on a c.v? Published work! If you’re interested in joining the College Times team, please email us, we’d love to hear from you! [email protected]
