5 Things About Drinking That Piss Me Off

Let me start off by saying: I drink....a lot. I would say I'm the closest you could be to an alcoholic without being an alcoholic. So this article is not intended to bash people who drink or to try and change people's minds on drinking. Drinking, to me anyway, is a way to wind down, especially after a week of assignments and actually doing stuff in college. It's also a way to socialise and catch up with people. However, most good things have a bad side. It's a cruel reality of life (I am subscribed to every sad memes page on Facebook). So, here are five things about drinking that piss me off...

1. The Cost

First things first: the money issue. As a student, nothing hurts more than missing a party because you didn't have enough money. Drinking costs money. House parties can be quite cost effective: a few cans of cheap beer (or whatever your poison is), a box of tobacco and you are good to go. However, there comes a time where house sessions run dry and you have to venture to a nightclub. Maybe you'll pre-drink to the point where you're playing Russian roulette with the bouncer to get in, which can cut the costs a little, but who has ever gone to a nightclub and said: "I won't buy any drinks in this place." Drinking is bad on the wallet, and as a student, the wallet is king (we are all filthy capitalists).

2. Basic Tasks Become Difficult

Drinking can make some things easy, but it can make other things a chore. Seriously, try walk up or down a set of stairs piss drunk without looking like a 2012 Harlem Shake video. How about trying to keep your balance while pissing in a urinal in a club, and am I the only person that desperately tries to avoid eye contact with a bouncer when trying to get into the venue after a few prinks? It feels like they're staring deep into my being, trying to observe the alcohol metabolizing in my system, to the point where they can use the scientific phrase for over intoxication: "Yeah, you're gone. Not tonight pal." As a man, there is also the event of getting to know a girl in the club, bringing her home for some fun times and getting the dreaded brewers droop (Google that shit, it's not fun).

3. Conversations

One thing drinking definitely makes easier are conversations, like way easier. It feels like suddenly you have the charisma of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and can literally hold a conversation with anyone. I'm talking full on banter, that turns into a DMC, that turns into mild depression. This cycle repeats itself about 50 times in a night after a few drinks. And how many times on a night out have we all bumped into Jason form school that we haven't talked to in 15 years and suddenly we are best mates? Like, Jason never used to talk to me, but now he seems like the coolest guy ever. Conversations are way too easy when drinking. That's even before the drunk texts, that you forgot you sent til the next morning and then you wanna die in a ball of Sambuca fueled flames.

4. Hangovers

This is the ultimate kick in the balls after a good night out. Think about it: you come in wasted drunk, get something nice to eat, you feel so wrecked and tonight feels like the night you are going to have an unreal kip. Then you wake up the next morning. That feeling of waking up the morning after and feeling like your head has spent the night in a tumble dryer is quite possibly the worst feeling ever. Then there's the headaches, the spins and don't forget the hangover shits. You feel like an absolute melted wheelie bin the next day.

5. The Fear

The worst thing about drinking is not being able to remember the night before. This comes along with the hangover. They are like that one obnoxious couple that hold hands in public and wear matching t-shirts. The fear starts off as a few small thoughts in your head, that turns into full blown scenarios: "Did I really meet my ex last night? Did I really shotgun a can of beer off the bonnet of a police car?" It gives you crippling anxiety, and most of the time the events you are thinking of didn't happen at all. Then there are the embarrassing texts to your mates verifying if the thought you are having actually happened, to which you get the reply: "What are you even talking about, pal?" It is not a good time (but it is so worth it).