*Whispers* It’s sunny out, did you know? Only, I don’t want to say it too loud in case some weather God hears, and I jinx it for us all. Feck knows we don’t get sunshine like this often, and when we do, creatures of habit that we are, we tend to do the same things. Annoying things. I figured I would immortalize them in a list below, as it will probably be another 137 years before we get to bask in the sun’s rays again so here is 8 annoying things people do in a heat wave.
Lads, we all know how that yellow yoke in the sky looks, we’ve seen it on TV. And you can relax with the lens flares – your life is not a Sofia Coppola movie.
Likewise with the beer/cocktail shots.
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iPhone Screenshots
Wow, you have an iPhone. You figured out the temperature. This is the kind of thing we like to call 'news feed herpes'
Mammies
Is it just me, or are all Mammies extra annoying during a heat-wave? All the windows and doors are flung open with aplomb to ‘air out the house’. Excuse me, but how else do you think we survive? Air circulates. Air does not stop at a door and say ‘whooops! Can’t go in there!’ and go about its air-y business.
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In addition, she wants to wash all of your clothes, duvets, pillows, blankets and shoes while ‘we have the weather for it.’ Your whole life is on the washing line, visible for all to see. The shame!
Not wearing deodorant
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While I know it’s such a chore to douse yourself in deodorant on a normal day, when it’s sunny you need it more than ever. You mightn’t be able to smell you, but we do. And it’s a bit icky. (Advice: when it’s warm, offer a can of deodorant around like you would a packet of chewing gum. If the smelly perpetrator fobs your offer, commence obligatory ‘Ah go on, go on, go on…. Repeat as necessary.)
Not wearing sun-cream
You know you’re gonna get sunburnt if you even look at the sun on TV, so why would you step outside without smothering yourself in sun-cream? ‘Ah, it’s not that warm, be grand.’ Well, you don’t look very ‘grand.’
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Wearing sunglasses indoors
‘I’m sorry, I don’t usually do this, but can I have your autograph?’ You look down to see a little girl with a pen and paper at the ready. ‘What? Me?’ you ask. You lift your sunglasses in order to understand the situation better (why?) and at the sight of your average, shiny Irish face, the little girl slowly backs away and breaks in to a run. ‘Oh, sorry!’ she calls. ‘That’s the fifth time that’s happened today’, you think. You wonder why.
For the love of Polar Bears!
I can’t be too harsh with this one as I’ve done it myself. While some people moan about the incessant heat, others lament the ever widening hole in the ozone layer. ‘This heat is not normal’, they say. ‘There’s something not right.. Definitely global warming. The end is coming. ’
