You too can be a study survivor...
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Although college is one amazing fun-filled adventure, there just comes a time when you need to put the Captain Morgan’s down and hit the books. But never fear! *Sweeps in to save the day and then waves awkwardly*. Follow my great study tips and you too can become a study survivor.
Tip #1 Self Bribery
There’s no time for procrastination here in the study jungle. Bribe yourself with incentives such as a warm shower, a toilet break, heating, and water. Haven’t washed your hair in a week? You think you have hypothermia? Too bad. Do 10,000 more words of your assignment at least before you allow yourself such luxuries.
Tip #2 Cram like crazy
Nothing good ever came from learning little by little… Sure isn’t reaming pages and pages of research methods the night before an exam a huge part of the craic?
Remember-Cramming =1 point, Learning like a wimp=0
Tip #3 Put down the cookie
Put down the goddamn cookie. It’s bad for you duh… Whoever said The bigger you are the more of you there is to love was just trying to sell you more goddamn cookies ! Now I’m well aware you need tonnes of sugar in order to do any sort of study activity. My answer to this is fruit,lots and lots of fruit. Take note from Baloo(the bear), now there’s a guy who knows how to eat his fruit.
Tip #4 Bask in isolation
Studying is more or less a solo activity. While you’re sitting alone in your cave of a room with funky hair, no heating, and lots of fruit you will long for human interaction.Grab a football, paint a face on it and let that be your new homie. Works for Tom Hanks…
Tip #5 Think like an owl
Only study during the night time, it’s what all the cool people do…and you want to be cool now don’t you?
Tip #6 Cry
Studying is tricky business and there’s no doubt you will have a minor emotional breakdown at some stage. Let it all out.Tears are your friend. In fact take some pictures of yourself in a distressed state and update your followers on Twitter. Everyone loves a good study meltdown, you will only become more popular because of it
Tip #7 Avoid googling cute animals
I’ve seen so many people fail at exams because of this, so many people! Avoid cute animals at all costs. It’s a known fact that we just can’t study if there’s something cute anywhere near us. I mean goddamn it just look at this monkey,LOOK AT IT (lolz don’t look at it,go study)!
Tip #8 Know the end is near
Remember exams will come to an end and you will be free. College rocks most of the time and the sooner you get to work, the sooner you get to have fun again.Picture graduation day, the day of freedom. If that doesn't work, scaremonger yourself with the thought of summer repeats ahhh the horror *runs for the hills*.
