9 Things I Learned While Being a Waitress

Being a waiter/waitress is almost a rite of passage; it teaches you invaluable lessons that you carry with you throughout your life (and no, I'm not being sarcastic). Most people in your life have at one point served in the food industry, and it's time you gave those people some kudos. Here are 9 things, among many more, I learned while being a waitress.

1. No matter how well you serve a table, they may still give you a shit tip.

You guys could be laughing it up, having a grand time, getting all of their orders correct and have them out in a timely fashion. But, some people are cheap as fuck. Keep doing you, boo.

2. Everyone loves to put ketchup on fucking everything.

Chips? Side of ketchup. Pasta? Side of ketchup. Coke? Side of ketchup. Just always bring ketchup to the table, and they'll figure out something to dip in it.

3. Always lead with drink specials. Always.

Get them flowing in alcohol and watch their bill rack up. Be careful, because it's a double-edged sword; they are 80% likely to be more difficult.

4. A lot of men are disgusting.

I'm not saying *all men* but I am saying *a lot* of men. Especially the older ones. It can create a hostile environment, and all I can say is handle the situation how you want to handle it . Hell, tell them they're disgusting - I've done that plenty of times. Money ain't worth my dignity, honey.

5. Befriend the busboys.

Probably the most important on this list. THE BUSBOYS KNOW ALL! And, they steal you yummy food from the kitchen.

6. Do not eat a burger on your break. I repeat, do not eat a burger on your break.

You will be in a coma the rest of your shift and never recover. You will not - I repeat - WILL NOT make it to 3am.

7. First dates are actually amazing to watch.

It is such a privilege denied to many. I love watching people filter their drink and food choices.

8. Being able to be externally happy but internally angry is an amazing skill.

When the customer says, "I asked for no mayo.." when you damn well know they never asked for no fucking mayo. They give you back their sandwich. You smile. You apologize. Internally you are screaming. Believe it or not, this skill of wanting to kill someone but finding a way through it will help you in most situations throughout your life.

9. Solidarity with your coworkers is key.

The best friends I've made over the years have been the ones I've worked with. Be kind to each other, and help each other out. These are the friends that will last a lifetime.