College girls are the most mysterious creatures on the face of this earth: we somehow manage to go through 50 shades of procrastination and still make it out on the weekends. Sometimes we struggle with finding the happy balance between living a normal, routine life and lurking in clubs until 4 a.m. the night before a giant exam. But hey, that's our life, and each day is more interesting than the last. Here's how a typical day in the life of a college girl goes.
“Why in the world did I set my alarm for 8:15 a.m.? Class isn’t even until 9.”
“Okay, I can sleep for 7.5 more minutes if I wear a my hair up and leggings... 10 more if I don't bother with make up.”
Ok, I missed my 10 o'clock but fuck it, I'll get it online
“I’m trying to move at a jogging pace so I have time to stop and get coffee before class, but that’s not going to happen if this girl in front of me doesn’t start moving knees to chest.”
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“Never mind! I skipped class yesterday to finish my show on Netflix. Coffee can wait.”
“I get to class two minutes late and there are no fucking seats. WHY IS EVERYONE SO ORGANISED.”
“SCORE! We’re watching a documentary about ancient Shakespeare history. I’m gonna look up delicious food recipes on Pinterest.”
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“Whoa, hang on… who is that guy, and why have I never noticed him before? Screw the Pinterest recipes, I’m looking at him for the remainder of these 90 minutes.”
“Wait, there’s a test on this documentary.... faaack”
“Okay, now that I didn’t pay attention in class, I have to go home and get some work done, especially if I want to go out tonight.”
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“I’ll read a few chapters and then take a break.”
“After that hard work, I deserve a treat. Plus, my roommates just got home. I’ll study more after I get some brain food.”
“I have yet to eat anything that grows out of the ground today, but screw it - I’m only gonna have this young metabolism for so long. In that case, make that a chicken fillet roll with mayo, cheese and coleslaw.”
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“Alright, I’ve wasted two hours that I should have spent doing homework. There is no possible way I can go out tonight.”
“But my roommates are being bad influences. They keep saying Yolo and there are only so many Fridays left in my college career, so I have to spend them the right way.”
“Fine. They convinced me. I’ll go out.”
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“But unless they want me to be crotchety and grumpy all night, I’m gonna need to squeeze in a quick power nap.”
“Getting up this morning was impossible… but getting up to go out is no problem at all.”
“I need to eat something to line my stomach, and it should probably be something nourishing and unprocessed…”
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“…but I have nothing like that.”
“Now I need to make a good shower playlist to get myself pumped for the night out.”
“I have to look hot tonight. Who knows, I might see that guy from that lecture this morning.”
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“Except I've already worn every piece of clothing in my closet in every combination possible about five times already.”
“Grand, whatever - this will have to do. I’m starting to sweat from getting ready and I am over it.”
“Something about the girls’ response to my last-minute outfit makes me feel like I should change…”
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“...but feck it, let's just start drinking.”
“I need a new profile picture so it's eyes up, chin down, skinny arm central.”
“Okay, I know I didn’t do anything I needed to get done today, but I’m going out and doing what I do best. I will not feel any guilt.”
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“I lied… my conscious is being a b*tch and I’m starting to feel so guilty about everything I didn’t do today. I have got to stop procrastinating because it's really starting to take away from my ability to let loose.”
“But my roommates aren’t having it. Apparently the bar isn’t the time and place to be worrying about that. ‘We’ll go to the library all day tomorrow,’ they say.”
“You know what? They are right! I'm gonna let loose and have fun. That homework will be there tomorrow.”
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“I’m gonna release my inner seductive side and go hit on some boys.”
“Okay, never mind - that’s not working. Maybe some classic pick-up lines will work.”
“That didn’t work either. Now I’m getting tired and I just remembered those leftover cheese chips waiting in the fridge. Time to go home.”
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“I won’t lie to myself, tonight was fun. But to make myself feel a little more productive, I'll check my email before I pass out in my deep, booze-and-cheese-chip-induced slumber.”
“THAT ONLINE QUIZ WAS DUE AT MIDNIGHT?!”
“I always tell myself I will learn from this. Every. Single. Time. I have to get my priorities straight.”
“But until then…”
