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I don't dish out compliments easily. In fact I would go so far as to say that I am something of a miser when it comes to handing out praise. But, credit where credit's due and, fair play to them, I don't think I'd be the man I am today were it not for lunches. I make no apologies when I say that lunches are fantastic. They've been there for me, day in day out - aside from one 3 week period in 2014 during an ill-fated dalliance with a fad diet endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow which resulted in me fainting from hunger in a bumper car. Lunches have been the backbone of, not just my days, but dare I say, literally dozens of other peoples days too, ever since they were first invented by Barry Manilow in 1973. [citation needed]
I don't think there are going to be any boats rocked by what I will say next; I believe that lunches are easily the second, or third, most important meal of the day - depending on what side of the fence you fall w/r/t the importance of dinners. Whether you're sinking your teeth into a delicious burrito; leathering into a delicious serving of pasta, or quaffing over 3 litres of cheese fondue, we all appreciate a bargain when it comes time to buy lunch/ cover the medical costs of having your stomach pumped after drinking over 3 litres of cheese fondue. That's why none other than everyone's favourite Phibsboro-based pub called 'The Back Page', 'The Back Page' have decided to throw y'all a helping hand.
They are ploughing mercilessly ahead with their long-running tradition of providing free lunches to anyone bearing one of two first names, which are chosen on a weekly basis. This week whoever is in charge of choosing the names has decided that it's the turn of the 'Andrew's and 'Anna's of the world to avail of this smashing offer.
It is indeed a great power that is wielded by whichever employee of The Back Page is weekly charged with determining what two names will be the proud recipients of free lunches - under a strict set of criteria as stated below. From an entirely selfish perspective I just hope that they get round to choosing my name for some free lunches before they are inevitably corrupted and, most probably, destroyed by this terrible power.
