Okay, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and yap on about how much I love kale and squats. That would be a blatant lie. I have eaten a 15 euro dominoes meal deal, jars of Nutella and scarily big blocks of Toblerone all in one sitting. I know that's roughly 5,000 calories and I would have to do about 5 years of burpees to work that off, but to be honest, I don't give a shit, and I'm sick and tired of being made to feel like I should give a shit. Zucchini blended cacao cake is not a fucking cake. Clean eating is not fun.
This whole fitspo, thinspo thing is actually melting my brain. Eating healthily is becoming far too extreme, with everyone trying to one up each other with their kale smoothies. People are proclaiming that carbs are bad, sugar is bad, fat is bad. I honestly think someone's going to turn around and say you can get cancer from an apple in a few months. Everything is good in moderation. Exercise should be fun, something to get those feel good body pumpin' vibes. It should not be a hate crime against your body. On that note, I want to redefine the positive aspects of exercise. Forget your big butt challenge, here are six real reasons to exercise:
1) Exercise makes you happy.
I’m 1000% sure that the whole world needs happy pills at some point in their lives. Exercise gives you a hit of serotonin, adrenaline and all those other wonderful "I love the world" endorphins that are essential to get you through shitty Mondays. Getting your body freak on is cheaper than Prozac. Feeling moody? Shake that booty.
2. It makes you healthy.
The motivation behind working out for many has actually become unhealthy. A mixture of the media’s latest fads and refusing to accept oneself has people flocking down to the gym. There's nothing wrong with self-improvement but it shouldn't be because you hate yourself. Nowadays people presume that if you're working out, it's because you want to be bigger or smaller. It should not be solely for this purpose. It protects your heart, keeps your blood pressure in check, reduces the risk of arthritis, increases your metabolism and even contributes to fending off some cancers.
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3. It makes you sexy (either in reality or in your own mind).
Okay, personally, I look like I've given birth to triplets after any form of exercise. I'm standing next to people swinging dumbbells around like no man's business as sweat pours down my beetroot colored face like Niagara Falls. Despite this fact, I still feel like I am the queen of booty and lord of the gym after only five squats. It gets an "I love me" buzz going, which leads me to my next point...
4. It makes you horny.
Exercise makes you wanna sexercise. Don't ask me why. It just does. And that is never a bad thing.
5. It gives you the perfect opportunity to do the creep.
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Whether you're actually working out, lying on yoga mats or sitting outside a place where healthy people go with your friends. Eye candy galore.
6. It makes you sleepy.
Exercise promotes better sleep. More beauty sleep makes us look less ratchet. As it increases blood flow, it acts as a natural face lift and provides us with a more glowing complexion.
What's not to love? Happy, healthy, sexy, horny, social (we're going to put creeping down as social) and pretty. I think it's time to re-evaluate the things we do. Put down your vomit smoothie and listen up. Getting onto the treadmill should be to make you feel great, it shouldn't be fuelled by self-hatred. Running yourself into the ground and eating carrot sticks because you feel like a whale will never work in the long run. Trust me, I have tried it and it always ends with "fuck this" followed by pizza, chocolate and anything else I can get my hands on. We all have an inner chocolate obsessive and quite frankly, she is mint. We need to do the things that make us feel good about ourselves, not because society tells us to. Do what makes you happy. Moderation is key, in everything, except; pizza, Zumba, cocktails and LOVING YOURSELF.
