So, you finally found out love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Perhaps the effort of printing your painfully empty CV during the middle of June is a little too daunting? Or maybe, just maybe you realised that attacking the entire packet of custard creams on a Saturday night isn’t exactly how you planned your newly acquired adult life? No worries, we can all feel a little less than amazing from time to time so here’s a sure-fire guide to give you the slap in the face you deserve!
Beached whale stranded on sofa is not a good look
It just isn’t, ok? Take my advice, nobody and I mean NOBODY has ever found themselves or conquered their fears while tucking into a pot noodle during the second season box-set of Breaking Bad, not even Christ himself can pull off the bewildered couch potato-look. The sooner you accept that your problems don’t get any easier from sitting on your ass all day, the less cellulite and more power you’ll have.
Give those Limbs a Little Jiggle.
Now, there’s no need to go all crazy and join a gym you will never visit but would it kill you to sniff the great outdoors and go for a walk? Movement keeps the mind motivated so when you’re finding it hard to recover from a rough break-up or the last episode of Game of Thrones just straighten the creases from your clothes and put one foot before the other. Life has a tendency to piss on your soul every once in a while so don’t take it lying down.
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Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Are you crazy? What makes you think you have the time to sit around and cry the next Liffey? You have a degree to work for, friends to root for, jobs to try for and looks to kill for. Whoever knocked you down or whatever rained on your parade is a silly sausage and we should all know better than to shed tears for silly sausages. You have more power over your life than what you may think so seize the reigns and take control because when you’re going through hell you just keep on going!
It wasn’t you and it wasn’t them. It’s life.
It’s a real blow to the self-esteem when it feels as though you’re giving your all and not getting so much as a nod in return. Will I let you in on a little secret though? If the shoe doesn’t fit then stop limping about like a lame dog. It can happen guys, sometimes your expectations don’t meet reality but why mourn something that wasn’t right for you anyway? Get back on your feet, dust yourself off and create a new path, the road will keep rolling if you keep strolling.
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Think about someone else for a day.
It’s only natural to blame yourself when things go wrong in life. No, it’s not your fault but yes, we have all been there. If you really can’t find a solution to the holy shower of crap you landed yourself in then why not lend a hand to someone else at a loose end. Believe it or not, we’re all faking it ‘till we make it, so drop your friend a line or chew the fat over some coffee. You won’t really know what’s going on in the lives of your loved ones unless you make yourself a part of it.
Take out the trash.
Not in the literal sense….but if your kitchen smells like cat and you don’t have a cat then you can take out that trash too. Seriously though, ask yourself why you feel the way you do and try to identify the triggers. Things aren’t half as complicated as they may seem in your head, if someone makes you miserable then remove yourself from their company, if you’re worried about exams, once again, get off the couch and take to the books! Don’t waste your time trying to nurse whatever hurt you’ve suffered, if you turn to face the world each day and starve those doubts of your attention then believe me, they will fade.
It’s Only the Beginning.
No matter how awful or bland your life might seem right now, just remember you have another fifty odd years of hitting new lows to look forward to…..just screwing with you! Treat each new day as a blank canvas to paint in whatever questionable colour you like. You have no idea what’s waiting for you around the corner, who knows, you might be lucky enough to find an abandoned pizza down some alley if you just get off that couch!
