Being a student is an absolute bitch. There are no bones about it, life is tough and that's that. But you've enough shit to feel bad about, so here are a few things that are okay to do. Hey students, it’s okay to....
1)… To buy a cup of hot water and not tea, because tea is expensive and you’re on your last few dollaaas. Thirty cents and a scummy tea bag from your handbag will do just fine, thank you very much.
2)… To go on a night out with no coat (or morals), but especially no coat because A) Cloakrooms cost two euro, two bigs ones that could go towards chips on the way home and B) You don’t want to run the risk of not looking slutty enough.
3)… To park yourself in front of a computer in a public place watching utter rubbish for hours on end. “Yeah, I’m just gonna head to the library and get some work done.” Oh wait, Orange is the New Black is out. Ooops.
4)…To function in a hungover state for the majority of the week. It’s okay to mooch around the place feeling a bit nauseous and grey; the fact that you made it down to your twelve o’ clock tutorial makes you a winner anyway.
5)…To live off beans, cereal, toast, noodles and pasta. Mmmm Rice crispies all day, every day. As long as you throw in a few bits of fruit here and there, spending as little money on food as possible ain’t a problem. Less expenditure on nutrition means more money for cans and going for cosmo coffees with the Baes.
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6)…Before, you could barely sellotape two pieces of paper together, now you’re home-made present Queen/ King, with empty pockets and loads of time on your hands, beer bottle dream catchers and lollipop stick jewellery boxes have become a feature in all of your presents.
7)....To decide that you’re going to start your diet tomorrow and proceed to order a 16 inch pepperoni pizza with your bestie, eat it, hate yourselves and go to bed promising that you’ll be a better person tomorrow.
8)…To wear the same socks for a longer than accepted period of time because the laundry still hasn’t dried. It’s been three days...
9)...To reuse the same cutlery/plates/glasses because you hate washing up, and the sink is blocked AGAIN.
10)…To steal toilet paper from the college toilets because everyone forgot to buy it this week and you’re feeling bitter and twisted that you were nominated to get it AGAIN.
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11)…To desperately email your lecturer saying that you’ve been really unwell so could they PLEASE put the notes up online. (Does the Breaking Bad marathon feel like it was such a good idea now?)
12)…To pretend to your family (most significantly your parents) that you are totally loving college and that you’re on top of life and no, you’re not drinking too much and haven't been to class in a week.
13)…To get horrendously drunk and accidentally have sex with someone you shouldn’t have.
14)…To get horrendously drunk and accidentally have sex with someone you shouldn’t have. Again.
15)…To absolutely love life because it’s never going to be this fabulous again. *Hair swish*
I look at a picture of me aged two trying to drink out of a bowl of milk with a group of kittens. (Yes, I was absolutely born to be a cat lady.) Then I went to Primary school, and then I grew boobs and now, here I am. I feel like my life is flashing before my eyes and only the really significant things are standing out. More importantly, where does the time go in college? I’m going into my final year (omg actual responsibility), and turning twenty-one (omg wrinkles) all in the next seven months. It’s too much to deal with, so when I feel freaked out about growing up and having to be a respectable human being, I will look at my list. When the time comes, and I’m actually old, like 26, I might even try to relive my youth by picking out one of these things and giving it a whirl for nostalgic purposes. Time moves on, “like the waves make towards the pebbled shore.”
It is us who have the choice to remain rooted in the moment and enjoy the small things that get thrown our way each day. As my last bit of neurotic, nonsensical advice for the year; let’s run through life like Baywatch; slowly and sexily. Over and out.
