They say that necessity is the mother of invention - a single-mother forced to raise its issue alone, abandoned by a negligent father. If we are take this aphorism as true, then perhaps we can read something into the fact that dogs have never invented jumpers. Dogs, in all their undeniable wisdom, admittedly don't necessarily excel in the field of invention. For instance, I can't recall ever seeing an episode of Dragon's Den featuring a dog attempting to secure venture capital for some sort of invention - though I am willing to attribute this to the fact that I am at best a cursory fan and my familiarity with the show is by no means comprehensive. Despite this admitted shortcoming, I think we can all agree that if dogs truly needed jumpers, they would have evolved the cognitive capacity to conceive of the idea of a jumper, and to create one, using special little looms they can work with their paws.
As far as I am aware, this has not happened. As such, I feel confident in stating that dogs do not need jumpers. Indeed, there is a very cogent argument that could be made here in declaring that they in fact, sort of already possess jumpers, that are attached to, and growing from, their skin. If we are to give air to this theory for a minute, then I think we can all further agree that there is absolutely no need for a dog to wear a jumper - in most standard situations.
However, humans are nothing if not cruel. The scope of our caprice varies wildly and exhibits itself in myriad forms. One such avenue our vindictiveness manifests itself is seemingly through taking great pleasure in forcing small animals to wear human clothing. As intimated, the purpose of jumpers lies outside a dog's capacity of perception and understanding. Dogs are confused by jumpers, they are scared of jumpers. And yet we source immeasurable joy from seeing, say, a dachshund, having had its profoundly overly-bred body into a chunky-knit Aran sweater, so that we may photograph them for our peers to laugh at on social media.
Should you wish to avail of this opportunity, and compound your dog's undoubted befuddlement, then you can now purchase matching jumpers for you and your dog from H&M.
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Starting at €12.99, you can kit your dog out in a jumper, and buy yourself the corrollary version. You can bring about this reality, the power is in your hands - assuming you have ready access to a hound that falls within the size guide of the jumpers.
