By Nicola Clancy
Are we happy? Can we be happy?
It is a common misperception for some that life will always be better when we have a bigger house, a nicer car, a fancy job, when we get married and have children or even get divorced! In reality, life is full of challenges. We must learn how to be happy in spite of circumstances.
Common causes of deep rooted unhappiness – (The heavy stuff if we can admit them!)
According to the books, narcissism can cause too much absorption in self-love and which deliberately leads ignore reality. Megalomania is all about self-importance. When these passions arise in a person, he/she tends to be either the arbiter or the dictator. A sense of sin in this context can mean a person is conscious of one’s own guilt and to deliberately break the moral taboos. There are other deep causes of unhappiness, such as frustration in the childhood, the effects of which can appear in maturity.
For the above life can become a painful experience, if they are not tackled sensibly
Daily life factors that prevent us from being happy
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A Byronic attitude is not being able to get at real sense of happiness despite having got plenty of fortune and honour.
Being an uber competitive type of person can develop into prejudice and enmity.
Fatigue - Those who are obsessed with worries even on their bed cannot achieve any fruit from life. The mental fatigue, due to over work, exhausts our energies and debilitates a person mentally and physically. The effect of worries goes deep into a person’s unconscious. If we take our hardship as a part of our life and compare it with the vast scheme of the universe, it is possible to change our viewpoint about life.
Envy is very ugly aspect of human nature as envious people always burn in the fire of grudge and bitterness. Having an Inferiority complex can make a person feel that society is opposed to them and every individual of society is out to get them.
Finally a fear of what other people think is a kind of fear that is engendered by unfamiliar environment and lack of confidence in personal opinion
ALL THAT BEING SAID! I have summed up 3 important strategies to help you check yourself (depending on where you are with the mood)
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Prevention
Prevention is the set of skills that have to do with how you maintain positive energy and redirect negative energy. It includes self-maintenance (what you do to take care of yourself), knowing high risk situations and warning signs (being able to “see it coming”), and cues like knowing exactly what you do that tells you exactly how you are doing. It’s all about YOU, become an expert on yourself!
Coping
Coping is what you do when you know you have a problem/situation it means limiting the damage and beginning the process of building positive energy. It’s all about how you process your experience and the plans you have for support when you can no longer trust the way you process your experience. You need to recognize that just because something “feels” this way doesn’t mean it “is” this way. Find a sounding board; whether it is a self-help book, a person of trust etc., this helps to clarify reality when it doesn’t seem so clear.
Learning
Learning has to do with how you view the overall situation and what you have learned, what you can do the next time. It means seeing mistakes and also seeing successes. It means viewing your experience not just as a source of destitution, but as an opportunity to learn more about life.
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Common attributes of Happy People
Happy people tend to like themselves. They are physically and emotionally healthy. They believe they are intelligent, principled people who are less prejudiced and are able to get along with most folk.
Happy people have a sense of personal control. This empowers them and leads them to perform better at work and at home.
Happy people show traits of optimism. They are generally positive thinking people with a ‘glass half full’ type of attitude.
Happy people are extroverted. We do not know if happiness makes people more sociable or if extroversion causes happiness but statistics show they correlate.
Happy people can have intimate/close relationships. Close, trusting relationships do tend to help people to be happy more freely than they would be without.
Happy people have some sort of spirituality in their lives. Belief systems focus on abstract elements that add meaning and vitality to one’s life experiences. Whether that is a belief in a God, a prayer or communing with nature to name but a few, it doesn’t really matter, it’s just what works for the individual.
Happy people try to have balanced lives. Dividing their time appropriately between work life, home life, play and spirituality. Make time for reflection, relaxation whilst incorporating some mindfulness.
Happy people are creative. Being creative in how they solve/handle problems. They tend not to let life become sedentary. Always thinking and learning.
So all that being said, can we as a nation, as individuals be happy? Is there a link between health and happiness? Does a happier life make us healthier or a healthier life make us happier? Since it is ancient wisdom that a ‘healthy mind’ is related to a ‘healthy body’ and most opinion surveys will show that we regard ‘good health’ as highly desirable, then answers would seem obvious, does it not??
