Ever wonder what goes on inside your college professor's mind? Well, we know what they're thinking and what they really mean when they're in a lecture with us students!
1. "I don't have to explain myself to you!"
It’s incredible isn’t it? The air of entitlement, sense of power and just plain “I don’t give a shit” attitude that comes with being a college lecturer. In my course, we have to sign off on our attendance at practically every lecture; some are mandatory, others supposedly not, but with a class of twenty-something they’re always going to know who’s missing. If one of us is ill or can’t make it to a lecture for some reason, we’re required to send an email with an excuse and an apology for our absence. But a lecturer on the other hand...they can cancel a class at a moment’s notice with no explanation! They can let you prepare for a presentation all the way up until the day before and then BAM- hit you with an email to say “nah, we’re not doing that tomorrow”. Or worse still, is the lecturer who allows a full class of groggy, bleary-eyed zombies, walk (probably in the rain) to college, sit patiently in a lecture hall at nine o’ clock in the morning, and then just doesn’t bother turning up. You’re a college lecturer; you don’t have to explain yourself to us peasants!
2. "... Because I can."
I have a lecturer who had planned a class during the college party week last year. It is a well-known fact that attendance during these 5 days in the college year is not, shall we say, 100%. I’m not saying we were going to blow off every class and leave our lecturers hanging, but we never before caused any hassle with poor attendance as a group and honestly, anyone who expects to have full attendance in their lecture during this party week is just deluding themselves! So, unfortunately, our coordination and decision-making for this particular day were less than up-to-scratch, and we ended up all missing the lecture except three poor misfortunes that showed up. Obviously we felt a bit guilty, and when we heard this lecturer was offended we went to him with our tails between our legs and said we were sorry. He graciously accepted our apology but then, to add insult to our already injured pride, he requested a box of chocolates be presented to him in our next lecture just to sweeten the deal. I thought making ridiculous demands like that was only allowed if you were Beyoncé, but obviously it works for college lecturers too!
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3. *Evil laugh.*
I think we all know one of those college lecturers who enjoys making students sweat just for fun. The ones who seem just a little bit too excited about announcing a surprise test or sit at the top of the lecture hall smiling while you stare at your exam paper trying not to cry. We just imagine that as soon as the tutorial is over; they run home, sink into an oversized leather chair, steeple their fingers Mr Burns style, and concoct their new and innovative torture methods for their poor unsuspecting students!
4. "Everyone can totally relate to me."
I am by no means saying that the above applies to every lecturer in every college that ever was. I have my favourite lecturers as I’m sure everyone does, and I can imagine that being the students’ favourite has to be fun. Actually, there are a few faculty members in my degree programme that people in my class absolutely dote on. Their knowledge, their attitude, even their style, are envied and admired by me and my peers. It is the lecturers that practice as they preach and make you feel like you are really learning something useful that I appreciate the most. These lecturers don’t talk down to you, or make you feel like they’re explaining something to a child. The lecturers that realise their students are actually adults and respect their opinions and views, are the lecturers that will gain the respect of their students in return.
5. "Yes, I am absolutely awesome."
So, a definite perk of being a college lecturer HAS to be that you are assured in the fact that you know more than the students in your class. In primary school, even secondary school sometimes, it could be an awful burden to be any way smart or interested in learning. Teacher’s pet may sound like a pretty harmless nickname looking back now, but at the time it was anything but! Teachers just aren’t appreciated by their pupils to the extent they should be, but a college lecturer? Even the title sounds sophisticated! There is nothing quite like sitting in a lecture hall filled with people and experiencing the power of a good (and I emphasise the term “good”) lecturer do their thing. How cool must it be when you are holding the attention of an entire hall of people? How delicious must it feel when a class full of eager students turn to you for guidance now? How giddy must it make you when you’re the one with all the answers and you’re admired for it rather than putdown? I have to admit that I like the sound of that.
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