Job Interview: What Their Questions Actually Mean...

Have you ever been in an interview and wondered what they were actually thinking when they're asking you questions? Things like 'where do you see yourself in five years' and 'why did you leave your last job?'. They're the kinds of question that make you freeze and mess up, I feel we could all do with some help in this department...

Postgraduate Opportunities 2014, a 12-page supplement with the Irish Times that was released today, Tuesday the 11th of March, looks at life after college, why recent graduates might be considering postgraduate study and what you can expect to get out of it. As well as tips on how to handle the interview process, there’s advice on how to choose a course or college, doing postgrad study abroad and the latest options regarding conversion courses.

In the mean time, here's what the interviewer is really thinking when they're asking you questions, so get brushing up on your techniques to make yourself stand out!

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Do you actually have a plan? How dare you think you can progress further than me in this company you snotty little so and so..

“The pay is 25 thousand per annum.”

But you'll really be on peanuts because of income tax, USC, VHI, ABC.... Its easy as 1 2 3 , as simple as do re mi, A B C, 1 2 3 baby you and me girl....what were we talking about again?...Oh yes, money.

“Why did you leave your last job?”

I don't care..I know it's going to be a lame excuse with 10% truth involved. I wish for once someone would just tell me it was because they punched their last boss straight in his nose..or even better, punched yourself in the nose and blamed your boss in order to get a huge pay off...

“You have a lot of experience in many different fields, tell me again what they are.”

Do you actually spend any time in one place at all?

“You’re overqualified for this position.”

We don't have the budget for you even though Betty in accounting hasn't progressed her skill set in 20 years, still uses a typewriter and gets 80K per year and you would obviously bring more to the company than about 70% of the current staff.

“Now obviously we've been interested in interviewing you since your CV arrived in via email but just run me through your experience again if you wouldn't mind…”

For the life of me I have no idea who you are...

"Tell me one weakness that you have?"

"Excellent"

Meh!

“Tell me one example of when you worked as part of a team?”

Could this guy possibly be a good laugh to go drinking with after work...?

"So are you into any extra curricular activities?"

“We'll be in touch”

You might be in with a shot...but there's a 65% chance I'll be sending you a generic 'you didn't get the job email in which I'll probably misspell your name...