Problems All Perpetually Cold People Will Understand

I love the warmth but, for me, it's something only blankets, heaters, open fires and warm cuddles can provide. Left to my own devices, I am sure I would freeze to death. I don't even think I'm being dramatic. Here are some problems my fellow perpetually cold companions will understand...

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1) Texting is impossible sometimes because your hands are completely numb.

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2) You always wear an extra layer of clothing... but still, the cold gets in.

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3) You constantly have a mug of tea or coffee in your hands, not for drinking, for keeping your hands warm.

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4) One disadvantage of being single is that you don't have someone else's hands to hold and keep you warm.

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5) You nap a lot - not to catch up on sleep, but as an excuse to cover yourself in blankets.

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6) Snow holidays are not holidays, they are torture. A holiday means beaches and sunbathing.

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7) You wear sweatshirts to bed. Over your PJs. With fluffy socks.

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8) Sometimes, you wear two pairs of socks, just to make sure your toes don't fall off from frostbite.

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9) Tights do not cut it (unless you wear them under jeans), you wear leggings under dresses/shorts/skirts instead.

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10) Alcohol is great for two reasons: 1) It lowers your inhibitions and enables you to have a great time and 2) it warms you up. Pass the fire whiskey, please!

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11) Sometimes, getting out of bed in the morning makes you want to cry at the injustice of life.

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12) Sometimes you'll forgo a shower because it's too damn cold in the bathroom. Dry shampoo and extra deodorant it is!

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13) Often you won't go pee because the idea of sitting down on the freezing cold toilet seat is beyond daunting.

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14) When you don't have a cuddle-buddy in bed, you use at least two hot-water bottles. This in addition to the extra PJ layers.

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15) You have numerous blankets of various comfiness.

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16) Salad just doesn't cut it at lunch, because it's cold. You need soup to warm you up.

 

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17) When you do get lucky, the person you're with jumps when you touch them. "Your hands are so cold!"

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18) When the radiator or heater is on, you literally sit on top of it... and it's still not warm enough.

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19) You never go to bed with wet hair, or you could wake up with icicles and a sniffly nose.

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20) Getting into bed is terrifying. You'd sooner cuddle with a blanket in front of the radiator, but you know you just have to brave it. It will be warmer... eventually.

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21) Tiles and uncarpeted wooden floors are the absolute worst. Slippers are the absolute best.